Hi everyone!
So, it's been quite awhile since I have posted, and I am here to report that it is not for lack of intent! Here is what happened:
I was sitting around having cocktails with a bunch of girlfriends one evening, talking about how I'd like to re-enter the workforce, and how, although it presented some challenges (ie: resume writing, child care issues, "what the heck I want to do with my life", etc.) I was gung ho and ready! My wonderful friend, who is the head of her company, not in title or responsibility, but in spirit, suggested that I come in and work a couple hours a day, a couple days a week, for minimal pay, at her company to get something current on my resume. I found out that she is like the hero of the working woman, the one who rescues those who have lost their jobs, or are unhappy in their current employment state. She is currently helping at least 3 other people pull together their resumes!
She is also CRAZY! Not crazy in the unbalanced, need a straight jacket sort of way (although she might think otherwise), but she has endless amounts of energy, which she doles out to her job, her family, and, as you will see, her friends! This is the superwoman who will catch you in the tornado of her excitement, and you will want to let go and be carried away.
So, I agreed to go to work with her, at her company - she had to talk the owner and the accounting people into it, and I am sure, at first, that they were like, "what sort of lunatic is this, and why is she here"?! After the first week of part-time, basic work (read: research, filing, etc.), they were asking me to work everyday, part-time. I gladly accepted, even though I was referred to as "little buddy" and no one was still quite sure about how I fit into their organization.
After another week or so, again, I was asked to step it up to full-time, temporarily - big projects... etc. And I, like any person with a work ethic was willing to go the extra mile to make sure that the company was being supported (just as I had done before I had kids). I did, however, have to make some changes at home:
- Had to get wonderful hubby to take on many household responsibilities
- Had to figure out child care after school for my kids on a regular basis
I missed (or was late to) dinners with my friends on friday evenings, PTA meetings, homework went unchecked, laundry and housework went undone (one day I actually wore to work not one single article of clothing that had been cleaned between wearings!) I did not watch a single TV program during which I did not fall asleep. My kids became cranky (more on that later), my husband became cranky, my friends missed me, and I am sure that the PTA was cranky about my lack of upholding my responsibilities.
Of course, I am sure that this crankiness was all because everyone on the other side viewed my "job" as temporary, one that would end one day, and I would return to the world of the stay-at-home mom. Even I, at one point, missed my kids, my family, and my friends, and wondered why the heck I was doing this!
However, the pinnacle of my temporary position was just last week. I had the opportunity to see all of my hard work, and that of everyone else working on that project, come together. Coming back from that business trip, I felt like a rock star! We were brilliant, and amazing, quick-thinking and creative. It was an incredible feeling, that I have to say, I rarely, if ever get from being a stay-at-home mom. Sure, it has its triumphs, but people aren't kidding when they say that being a mom is a thankless job.
So, where does that leave me now... confused, divided, yearning... Part of me wishes to come back home and be with my kids, and part of me (now that I've gotten used to it) really wants to continue to be the rock star... the question is, which one do I want more?
Showing posts with label stay at home mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stay at home mom. Show all posts
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tips for Leaving the Nest
Congratulations Kim!! I too have been out of the blogging loop for awhile, so much so as I forgot my login and password! As you mentioned, because I took a temporary contract position. I have learned so much from my experience to share with everyone thinking of going back to work, after being a stay-at-home mom for so long. Here's my story:
A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work. I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc. I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband. She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".
TIP #1: Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know. Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!
So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer. Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning. Perfect! I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project. It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!
TIP #2: Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay. If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)
After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client. I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility. Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home. No problem.
TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!
I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids. Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home. I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s. A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs. Now, I am swamped. Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.
TIP #4: Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more
The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future. How can I refuse?! I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby. Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary. I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary. Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care. Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep. I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining. Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.
TIP #5: There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.
So, what have I learned through this "project"? I have learned a bunch! I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids. The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired). I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life. Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach. (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy) There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office. These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.
So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us! It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:
A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work. I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc. I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband. She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".
TIP #1: Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know. Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!
So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer. Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning. Perfect! I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project. It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!
TIP #2: Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay. If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)
After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client. I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility. Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home. No problem.
TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!
I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids. Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home. I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s. A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs. Now, I am swamped. Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.
TIP #4: Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more
The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future. How can I refuse?! I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby. Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary. I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary. Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care. Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep. I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining. Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.
TIP #5: There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.
So, what have I learned through this "project"? I have learned a bunch! I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids. The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired). I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life. Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach. (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy) There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office. These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.
So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us! It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The BIG Experiment!! Diane's Final Day!!
6:30-7:30 Wake up. Let Wonderful Hubby know that it's time to get up. Start coffee, wake kids. Go take shower and get ready for 7:30 meeting at the school. Upset to be missing another day of working out. Decide to wear stretchy comfy jersey wrap dress. Decide that dresses are the best! Wonderful Hubby has gotten kids all ready to go to school.
7:30-8:15 Stop car and take kids into school. Get stopped by principal in lobby who has questions about "very important stuff". Late to meeting.
8:15-2:30 Head to office. Worried that I will not add value and sit there mute in the corner. Meeting with client #1 goes very well. Actually had valuable input! Am amazed by my AMAZING friend and her abilities. Office is fun and I like it. Invited to join in meeting with client #2. Call Mr. Wonderful to see if he can pick up the kids and a playdate after school.
2:30-3:00 Head home. Drive like crazy person because I am running late. Find that everyone has arrived home from school safely. Kids are playing but have not had a snack. Hubby is on iPhone. Everyone survived.
3:30-4:00 Make appointment with vet for dog. Feed snack to kids. Loving the pre-packaged snack foods today. Put kids on Wii. Sit down to computer. Check emails, blog about my day, which I have all forgotten by now.
4:30-6:00 Finally take dog to the vet. Explanation for that terrible smell earlier in the week. Feel really guilty that it has taken me this long to get the dog to the vet. Wonderful Hubby takes kids to friends' house for dinner.
6:00-10:00 Drop off dog at home. Feed dog. Alone in my messy home. Consider staying home all by myself, sigh...Grab all of the things that Wonderful Hubby has forgotten and head over to friends' house for dinner. Enjoy house full of wonderful friends and a terrific dinner. Extremely exhausted. Head home with kids to go directly to bed. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. So tired I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.
All in all the day was great. Wonder how things would shake out if Wonderful Hubby wasn't there to pick up the kids, but figure we'll have to take each day one at a time.
7:30-8:15 Stop car and take kids into school. Get stopped by principal in lobby who has questions about "very important stuff". Late to meeting.
8:15-2:30 Head to office. Worried that I will not add value and sit there mute in the corner. Meeting with client #1 goes very well. Actually had valuable input! Am amazed by my AMAZING friend and her abilities. Office is fun and I like it. Invited to join in meeting with client #2. Call Mr. Wonderful to see if he can pick up the kids and a playdate after school.
2:30-3:00 Head home. Drive like crazy person because I am running late. Find that everyone has arrived home from school safely. Kids are playing but have not had a snack. Hubby is on iPhone. Everyone survived.
3:30-4:00 Make appointment with vet for dog. Feed snack to kids. Loving the pre-packaged snack foods today. Put kids on Wii. Sit down to computer. Check emails, blog about my day, which I have all forgotten by now.
4:30-6:00 Finally take dog to the vet. Explanation for that terrible smell earlier in the week. Feel really guilty that it has taken me this long to get the dog to the vet. Wonderful Hubby takes kids to friends' house for dinner.
6:00-10:00 Drop off dog at home. Feed dog. Alone in my messy home. Consider staying home all by myself, sigh...Grab all of the things that Wonderful Hubby has forgotten and head over to friends' house for dinner. Enjoy house full of wonderful friends and a terrific dinner. Extremely exhausted. Head home with kids to go directly to bed. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. So tired I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.
All in all the day was great. Wonder how things would shake out if Wonderful Hubby wasn't there to pick up the kids, but figure we'll have to take each day one at a time.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The BIG Experiment!! Day Four by Diane
6:30-7:30 Wake up with small child in bed next to me. Wonderful Hubby calls. Make small child answer phone so that I don't have to get out of cozy bed. Happy there is smell of fresh coffee coming from kitchen. Get up and throw uniforms at children. Check email to see that I have another meeting this morning that I am unprepared for about "very important stuff", but throw papers in a bag and rush out the door.
7:30-8:15 Drop kids off barely slowing and rush back home to shower and prepare for presentation. Read email from enraged neighbor about "very important stuff". Put on LOTS of deodorant in preparation for presentation at school and subsequent meeting. Squeeze into terribly out of date clothing and rush back to school.
8:15-10:30 Have horrible presentation. Realize I am much better in small groups than in front of a crowd. Rush off to make 11:00 meeting. No workout today.
11:00-12:00 Meet with important people about "very important stuff". Worry that I'm not communicating my position on important stuff so that they hear what I am saying. Worry about performance when I go back to work.
12:00-2:30 Check emails, have string cheese. Sit down and actually do some work, finally. Schedule playdate for children. Feel like having a glass of wine. Have a glass of wine with lunch. (Hey, I'm a big girl, deal with it!) Return phone call. Have headache about "very important stuff"... or maybe it's the wine? Still have another hour to make goal of 3 1/2 hours of work/day.
2:30-3:45 Feed kids, help with homework, put dishes in dishwasher
3:45-7:45 Take kids to indoor play-gym with friends and then out to dinner. Kids have fun. Eat pizza for dinner, feel very guilty, but kids are happy. Get home, put them to bed. Find out I have to go in to "work" tomorrow, and can't work out, but Wonderful Hubby will be home to help me out in the morning.
7:45-8:00 Check emails, blog. I am exhausted and sore (shin splints from uphill walk yesterday). Would go to bed if it weren't only 8:00. Go to set up coffee maker for the morning. Accidentally brew coffee instead of programming it. Brain can no longer function. Think of staying in bed all weekend. Smile.
8:00-9:30 Fall asleep in front of TV. Wake up when hubby comes home. Go to bed exhausted.
7:30-8:15 Drop kids off barely slowing and rush back home to shower and prepare for presentation. Read email from enraged neighbor about "very important stuff". Put on LOTS of deodorant in preparation for presentation at school and subsequent meeting. Squeeze into terribly out of date clothing and rush back to school.
8:15-10:30 Have horrible presentation. Realize I am much better in small groups than in front of a crowd. Rush off to make 11:00 meeting. No workout today.
11:00-12:00 Meet with important people about "very important stuff". Worry that I'm not communicating my position on important stuff so that they hear what I am saying. Worry about performance when I go back to work.
12:00-2:30 Check emails, have string cheese. Sit down and actually do some work, finally. Schedule playdate for children. Feel like having a glass of wine. Have a glass of wine with lunch. (Hey, I'm a big girl, deal with it!) Return phone call. Have headache about "very important stuff"... or maybe it's the wine? Still have another hour to make goal of 3 1/2 hours of work/day.
2:30-3:45 Feed kids, help with homework, put dishes in dishwasher
3:45-7:45 Take kids to indoor play-gym with friends and then out to dinner. Kids have fun. Eat pizza for dinner, feel very guilty, but kids are happy. Get home, put them to bed. Find out I have to go in to "work" tomorrow, and can't work out, but Wonderful Hubby will be home to help me out in the morning.
7:45-8:00 Check emails, blog. I am exhausted and sore (shin splints from uphill walk yesterday). Would go to bed if it weren't only 8:00. Go to set up coffee maker for the morning. Accidentally brew coffee instead of programming it. Brain can no longer function. Think of staying in bed all weekend. Smile.
8:00-9:30 Fall asleep in front of TV. Wake up when hubby comes home. Go to bed exhausted.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The BIG Experiment!! Day Three by Diane
4:38 am Wonderful Hubby wakes me up with his snoring. This is a recurring theme in our household. Move to spare bedroom. Spend half hour worrying about interview. Fall back to sleep.
6:25 am Woken by small dog who wants food. Wonderful Hubby comes to wake me up as well, since my alarm has gone off, and then goes to wake the kids. I am grateful for having prepared the coffee to start automatically.
6:30-7:30 Take out recycling, drip stale beer down my shoulder. Not going to ruin my mood, however. Got the kids out the door on time and with most of their morning chores completed! Even stopped the car before pushing them out at school!
7:30-8:45 Have a walk with Kim. Good discussions of why our hubbies are helping out MORE than usual this week. BOTH husbands have pointed out that they'd do whatever around the house, we only had to ask. Strangely enough, we haven't had to ask them to do anything so far this week, they've just seen something needing to be done and done it. Think the blog is great in more ways than one! Got a bit lost and had to use the iPhone to find our way back to our cars.
8:45-9:30 Yikes! Gotta hustle to shower and prepare for interview. Try on aforementioned out of date suit. Marvel that it still fits (see that scheduled exercise really pays off!) and looks okay. It is a bit uncomfortable because it has a waistline that goes over the navel, and I have been wearing low-rise pants for the last 5 years, but, with the jacket on, no one will know but me!
10:00-11:00 Meet with a wonderful friend who has a need for some part-time contract work. (It really is all about who you know!) Work out a win/win for both of us. If CFO agrees, I start next week! Really great company with bright engaging professionals. Got to use big words! Head home, starting to really HATE suit and want to pull an Al Bundy.
11:00-1:15 Voicemail from teacher who says son might have pink eye. Ignore it. They'll call again if they need to send him home. Panic about what happens now that Wonderful Hubby is traveling. Emails from volunteers in a panic. Get home, want a stiff drink, settle for what's left of the coffee, RIP off evil suit and throw it into a pile - climb into comfy jeans and slouchy sweater. Sit down to work.
1:45-3:00 Realize that I forgot that I'd help out at kids' school and hustle out the door so that they don't wind up riding the bus home to find that I'm not. Have kids do homework while volunteering.
3:30-5:00 Take kids to Toys R Us. Need birthday gifts, and kids are dying to spend gift cards. Curse gift cards given by well-meaning family members. Tell kids only 1/2 an hour. 1 and 1/2 hours later, leave store.
5:30-7:00 Yay! Awesome brother comes to rescue and grabs kids for dinner. Work on volunteer projects in peace. Have glass of wine! Forget to make to-do list for tomorrow. Remark that I need to 1. take dog to the vet, 2. take car in for repair, 3. am almost out of milk. Wonder when the heck I'm going to do that!?
7:00-9:00 Friend time! Enjoy get-together at friend's. Feel connected with other women/mommies.
9:00-10:00 pick up sleeping kids from Awesome Brother's and try to sneak them into bed before they wake up too much. Have LONG conversation with emotional (and tired)7 year old. Realize I have only had string cheese, coffee, and wine to eat today. Have another glass of wine, eat frozen dinner and a bunch of potato chips while catching up on DVR TV(so much for that workout). Feel guilty, throw away bag of chips.
For the most part, this was a good fulfilling day. Didn't spend enough time with children, which seems to show. Plan on making up for that tomorrow!
6:25 am Woken by small dog who wants food. Wonderful Hubby comes to wake me up as well, since my alarm has gone off, and then goes to wake the kids. I am grateful for having prepared the coffee to start automatically.
6:30-7:30 Take out recycling, drip stale beer down my shoulder. Not going to ruin my mood, however. Got the kids out the door on time and with most of their morning chores completed! Even stopped the car before pushing them out at school!
7:30-8:45 Have a walk with Kim. Good discussions of why our hubbies are helping out MORE than usual this week. BOTH husbands have pointed out that they'd do whatever around the house, we only had to ask. Strangely enough, we haven't had to ask them to do anything so far this week, they've just seen something needing to be done and done it. Think the blog is great in more ways than one! Got a bit lost and had to use the iPhone to find our way back to our cars.
8:45-9:30 Yikes! Gotta hustle to shower and prepare for interview. Try on aforementioned out of date suit. Marvel that it still fits (see that scheduled exercise really pays off!) and looks okay. It is a bit uncomfortable because it has a waistline that goes over the navel, and I have been wearing low-rise pants for the last 5 years, but, with the jacket on, no one will know but me!
10:00-11:00 Meet with a wonderful friend who has a need for some part-time contract work. (It really is all about who you know!) Work out a win/win for both of us. If CFO agrees, I start next week! Really great company with bright engaging professionals. Got to use big words! Head home, starting to really HATE suit and want to pull an Al Bundy.
11:00-1:15 Voicemail from teacher who says son might have pink eye. Ignore it. They'll call again if they need to send him home. Panic about what happens now that Wonderful Hubby is traveling. Emails from volunteers in a panic. Get home, want a stiff drink, settle for what's left of the coffee, RIP off evil suit and throw it into a pile - climb into comfy jeans and slouchy sweater. Sit down to work.
1:45-3:00 Realize that I forgot that I'd help out at kids' school and hustle out the door so that they don't wind up riding the bus home to find that I'm not. Have kids do homework while volunteering.
3:30-5:00 Take kids to Toys R Us. Need birthday gifts, and kids are dying to spend gift cards. Curse gift cards given by well-meaning family members. Tell kids only 1/2 an hour. 1 and 1/2 hours later, leave store.
5:30-7:00 Yay! Awesome brother comes to rescue and grabs kids for dinner. Work on volunteer projects in peace. Have glass of wine! Forget to make to-do list for tomorrow. Remark that I need to 1. take dog to the vet, 2. take car in for repair, 3. am almost out of milk. Wonder when the heck I'm going to do that!?
7:00-9:00 Friend time! Enjoy get-together at friend's. Feel connected with other women/mommies.
9:00-10:00 pick up sleeping kids from Awesome Brother's and try to sneak them into bed before they wake up too much. Have LONG conversation with emotional (and tired)7 year old. Realize I have only had string cheese, coffee, and wine to eat today. Have another glass of wine, eat frozen dinner and a bunch of potato chips while catching up on DVR TV(so much for that workout). Feel guilty, throw away bag of chips.
For the most part, this was a good fulfilling day. Didn't spend enough time with children, which seems to show. Plan on making up for that tomorrow!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The BIG Experiment!! Day Two by Diane
6:30-6:45 Hit snooze button several times, wake up late
6:45-7:30 Find that wonderful hubby has done most of the laundry AND the dishes while I was in a coma last night! Wake up children who complain of stomach aches and cry about having to go to school. Check emails, try to drink coffee in between yelling at kids to get a move on.
7:35-7:45 Still in pjs, scramble into car and push kids out at carpool. Go back home. Planned to run this morning, but since it is raining, opt to stay in pjs and get to work. Sigh at the thought of having to workout on Saturday instead.
7:45-8:45 Look at presentation that I have to give this week and realize that I am SO not prepared! Anxiety runs amok and I decide to get ready for my 9:30 meeting (volunteer activity) instead.
9:30-11:00 PTA meeting.... get so much information and added to my to-do list for volunteerism.
11:00-noon Start going through all of the emails that have ended up in my in-box. Get caught up in it, send Kim a note that I am running late (gotta love technology)
12-12:45 Meeting with Kim at coffice very productive. Realize that I forgot to brush teeth this morning. Resolve to be better tomorrow. Go home and RUN mail to the mailman, who has decided to be kind and wait for me. Get upset at morons who can't do their jobs thoroughly and now have to make another phone call/write letter/send it in AGAIN.
1:00-2:15 Brush teeth. Eat. Blog. Determined to finish resume.
2:15-5:30 Kids come home and immediately ask what we are doing today. Pout when I tell them "nothing". After getting them settled with snacks and homework, pretty much ignore children. Research and work on my resume. Children interrupt on occasion, and I have a notedly short temper with them. Resume working on my resume. (remark that resume and resume are spelled the same, less the accent - I think it's time for a break!) Youngest watching his 30 minutes of TV (turns into an hour). Resolve to manage time better tomorrow for second time today.
5:30-6:00 Wonderful hubby is already preparing dinner. Youngest upset that we couldn't go to Toys R Us today. I set out to tackle the mount of folded laundry that covers the dining room table. Enlist children to help, when I notice it's all MY stuff. Put away laundry, have children set table, feed dog, etc. Scan and email document to friend, return phone calls from friends. File some of year's worth of bills so that I can finish taxes for accountant.
6:00-6:30 Sit down and enjoy wonderful dinner. Food is so much better when someone else prepares it, don't you think?
6:30-7:00 Dishwasher still running (again! this never used to happen!) so dishes are rinsed and left in sink for tomorrow. Wonderful hubby irons his new shirt (?!) I sit down to do more research and work on blog. Kids playing Wii and don't interrupt.
7:00-7:30 Get kids ready for bed after tearing them away from Wii.
7:30-8:00 Write to-do list, check email. Panic about meeting tomorrow - more about fitting into my old business suits, which are probably VERY out of date, than the actual interview/meeting. Panic about presentation on Thursday. Resolve to take tomorrow one step at a time. Have glass of wine to calm myself.
8:00-10:00 Exhausted and ready for bed, but somehow manage to watch film with subtitles in its entirety. Overall an okay day. I'll be better tomorrow!
6:45-7:30 Find that wonderful hubby has done most of the laundry AND the dishes while I was in a coma last night! Wake up children who complain of stomach aches and cry about having to go to school. Check emails, try to drink coffee in between yelling at kids to get a move on.
7:35-7:45 Still in pjs, scramble into car and push kids out at carpool. Go back home. Planned to run this morning, but since it is raining, opt to stay in pjs and get to work. Sigh at the thought of having to workout on Saturday instead.
7:45-8:45 Look at presentation that I have to give this week and realize that I am SO not prepared! Anxiety runs amok and I decide to get ready for my 9:30 meeting (volunteer activity) instead.
9:30-11:00 PTA meeting.... get so much information and added to my to-do list for volunteerism.
11:00-noon Start going through all of the emails that have ended up in my in-box. Get caught up in it, send Kim a note that I am running late (gotta love technology)
12-12:45 Meeting with Kim at coffice very productive. Realize that I forgot to brush teeth this morning. Resolve to be better tomorrow. Go home and RUN mail to the mailman, who has decided to be kind and wait for me. Get upset at morons who can't do their jobs thoroughly and now have to make another phone call/write letter/send it in AGAIN.
1:00-2:15 Brush teeth. Eat. Blog. Determined to finish resume.
2:15-5:30 Kids come home and immediately ask what we are doing today. Pout when I tell them "nothing". After getting them settled with snacks and homework, pretty much ignore children. Research and work on my resume. Children interrupt on occasion, and I have a notedly short temper with them. Resume working on my resume. (remark that resume and resume are spelled the same, less the accent - I think it's time for a break!) Youngest watching his 30 minutes of TV (turns into an hour). Resolve to manage time better tomorrow for second time today.
5:30-6:00 Wonderful hubby is already preparing dinner. Youngest upset that we couldn't go to Toys R Us today. I set out to tackle the mount of folded laundry that covers the dining room table. Enlist children to help, when I notice it's all MY stuff. Put away laundry, have children set table, feed dog, etc. Scan and email document to friend, return phone calls from friends. File some of year's worth of bills so that I can finish taxes for accountant.
6:00-6:30 Sit down and enjoy wonderful dinner. Food is so much better when someone else prepares it, don't you think?
6:30-7:00 Dishwasher still running (again! this never used to happen!) so dishes are rinsed and left in sink for tomorrow. Wonderful hubby irons his new shirt (?!) I sit down to do more research and work on blog. Kids playing Wii and don't interrupt.
7:00-7:30 Get kids ready for bed after tearing them away from Wii.
7:30-8:00 Write to-do list, check email. Panic about meeting tomorrow - more about fitting into my old business suits, which are probably VERY out of date, than the actual interview/meeting. Panic about presentation on Thursday. Resolve to take tomorrow one step at a time. Have glass of wine to calm myself.
8:00-10:00 Exhausted and ready for bed, but somehow manage to watch film with subtitles in its entirety. Overall an okay day. I'll be better tomorrow!
Monday, January 24, 2011
The BIG Experiment!!
We've all been reading about Gwynnie's taxing daily schedule as a working mom, so we have busy schedules on the brain. In preparing the family, and yourself, for returning to work, Kim and I thought that it might be fun(ny) to have a sort-of trial run on how things might operate with mommy going back to work. Going off of the premise that if you're currently looking for work OR if you're starting a home business (as we are), there's a certain amount of time that you'll have to dedicate to the effort, we came up with the following schedule. (When we start working full time, there will be a WHOLE new schedule complete with a Survival Guide for our husbands.) For this whole week though, we are going to follow the schedule below to a T and report on how our kids, husbands, and selves fare as well as any casualties (I'm telling you right now that I don't see laundry pulling through!):
6:30-7:20 am Get up and get the kids ready for school/get mommy ready for the gym
7:30-7:45 am Slow down the car and push the kids out the door at school
8:00-9:00 am Go to the gym/workout - this is essential to plan into your day for your own well-being (so that you aren't sobbing as you try to squeeze into that business suit from pre-baby days)! Do it!!
9:00-9:45 am Home from the gym to shower (conditioning hair while stretching muscles a la Mrs. Rock-star's wife and movie star mom)
9:45-1:15 pm WORK: work on blog, work on networking, work on resume! 3 1/2 hours - DO NOT MULTI-TASK! - no house cleaning, laundry, errand running - only working!)
1:15-2:15 pm Volunteer activities and being involved at school (or whatever you are passionate about)
2:15-5:15 pm Kids are home from school: help with homework, fix healthy snacks (or throw goldfish at them), have playdates, extra-curricular activities, etc. Try to engage the kids... try not to play words with friends... resist urge to allow children to watch hours of TV.
5:30-6:00 pm Fix dinner (see our "For Meals on the Fly" on the sidebar or just have the local fishmonger deliver as GOOP suggests)
6:00-6:30 pm Eat dinner together as a family (pour first glass of wine)
6:30-7:30 pm Clean up and get the kids ready for bed (pour second glass of wine while children are bathing)
7:30-8:00 pm Check emails (make sure there aren't any important messages) and make To-Do list for following day
8:00-10:00 pm Grown-up time. Whether it's Couple-time, Friend-time, or Me-time - make sure to schedule at least one night of each this week!
10:00 pm Bedtime
Notice that we haven't built in specific time slots for house clean-up, laundry, errands, grocery shopping, dishwasher emptying...yep, we're curious to see how that's going to shake out too - husbands, maybe?
6:30-7:20 am Get up and get the kids ready for school/get mommy ready for the gym
7:30-7:45 am Slow down the car and push the kids out the door at school
8:00-9:00 am Go to the gym/workout - this is essential to plan into your day for your own well-being (so that you aren't sobbing as you try to squeeze into that business suit from pre-baby days)! Do it!!
9:00-9:45 am Home from the gym to shower (conditioning hair while stretching muscles a la Mrs. Rock-star's wife and movie star mom)
9:45-1:15 pm WORK: work on blog, work on networking, work on resume! 3 1/2 hours - DO NOT MULTI-TASK! - no house cleaning, laundry, errand running - only working!)
1:15-2:15 pm Volunteer activities and being involved at school (or whatever you are passionate about)
2:15-5:15 pm Kids are home from school: help with homework, fix healthy snacks (or throw goldfish at them), have playdates, extra-curricular activities, etc. Try to engage the kids... try not to play words with friends... resist urge to allow children to watch hours of TV.
5:30-6:00 pm Fix dinner (see our "For Meals on the Fly" on the sidebar or just have the local fishmonger deliver as GOOP suggests)
6:00-6:30 pm Eat dinner together as a family (pour first glass of wine)
6:30-7:30 pm Clean up and get the kids ready for bed (pour second glass of wine while children are bathing)
7:30-8:00 pm Check emails (make sure there aren't any important messages) and make To-Do list for following day
8:00-10:00 pm Grown-up time. Whether it's Couple-time, Friend-time, or Me-time - make sure to schedule at least one night of each this week!
10:00 pm Bedtime
Notice that we haven't built in specific time slots for house clean-up, laundry, errands, grocery shopping, dishwasher emptying...yep, we're curious to see how that's going to shake out too - husbands, maybe?
Anyone else out there ready to take the challenge with us??!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
"Step away from the cabinets, Ma'am!" by Kim
Diane's post brought back the agony that I went through when I had to redo my resume this past summer - by the time that it was all said and done I think that the whole thing took me well over a month. My previous resume was LONG gone on the hard drive of a long gone computer; fortunately the resume that landed me the life-changing job in Asia had been written by Sue Campbell, a wonderful resume writer who is infinitely more organized than I. I asked her to email me a copy and *poof*, there it was in my inbox. I opened it, looked at it, closed it and went to clean out my bathroom cabinets. :)
A couple of days (weeks) went by and I opened it again and started the process of adding the past 3 years of experience. But even with a model right in front of me (of my own resume no less), I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes without getting frustrated and walking away from it. Finally, with input from Husband, family, and friends I had enough *stuff* to fill out the questionnaire that Sue had sent me and quickly dropped it back in her lap to make me sound fabulous!
All told it took me about a month to get to that point - it's silly as I sit here thinking about it now but the paralyzation was vividly, painfully real at the time and now it's time to update it again, sigh. Writing this blog and getting to talk with all sorts of other women facing similar challenges has been incredibly cathartic for me - it's great to know I'm not alone, I mean I'm sorry for them and all but....you know what I mean.
We'll be talking with Sue this week to get some input and practical advice for rewriting, recreating, or just freshening up your resume. In the meantime, if you want to start some forward momentum or can't stand the idea of cleaning out those bathroom cabinets again, here are a couple ideas to get you moving:
1. Start small - just a rough list of all of your personal qualities (both good and "challenging") that you can think of. Don't forget to incorporate the items from your career in MomWorld that Diane identified in "Thoughts for the Interview". Now...ask husbands, friends, family members - only people who will be honest but not brutal. Live with your list for a couple of days - add to it but don't take anything off, we tend to edit ourselves way too much. It's your opportunity to brag, do it!
2. At the same time, especially if you're starting from scratch, start working on a VERY simple timeline of your career - dates, places, titles. It seems excessively easy but after a couple of years at home, I'm lucky if I can recall what I had for dinner last Tuesday, much less where I was and what I was doing in 1998.
3. Once you've identified the places/times that you worked, start sketching out the details of the jobs and responsibilities that you held while there. Again, this is the very simple 65,000 foot view of things, the bare bones.
Our expert, Sue Campbell of 1st-Writer, will give us some pointers on how to get from here to there later in the week, so we can start to pull all of this together.
We're going to do this together in baby steps, so....get off your ass, leave those cabinets alone, and get started!
A couple of days (weeks) went by and I opened it again and started the process of adding the past 3 years of experience. But even with a model right in front of me (of my own resume no less), I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes without getting frustrated and walking away from it. Finally, with input from Husband, family, and friends I had enough *stuff* to fill out the questionnaire that Sue had sent me and quickly dropped it back in her lap to make me sound fabulous!
All told it took me about a month to get to that point - it's silly as I sit here thinking about it now but the paralyzation was vividly, painfully real at the time and now it's time to update it again, sigh. Writing this blog and getting to talk with all sorts of other women facing similar challenges has been incredibly cathartic for me - it's great to know I'm not alone, I mean I'm sorry for them and all but....you know what I mean.
We'll be talking with Sue this week to get some input and practical advice for rewriting, recreating, or just freshening up your resume. In the meantime, if you want to start some forward momentum or can't stand the idea of cleaning out those bathroom cabinets again, here are a couple ideas to get you moving:
1. Start small - just a rough list of all of your personal qualities (both good and "challenging") that you can think of. Don't forget to incorporate the items from your career in MomWorld that Diane identified in "Thoughts for the Interview". Now...ask husbands, friends, family members - only people who will be honest but not brutal. Live with your list for a couple of days - add to it but don't take anything off, we tend to edit ourselves way too much. It's your opportunity to brag, do it!
2. At the same time, especially if you're starting from scratch, start working on a VERY simple timeline of your career - dates, places, titles. It seems excessively easy but after a couple of years at home, I'm lucky if I can recall what I had for dinner last Tuesday, much less where I was and what I was doing in 1998.
3. Once you've identified the places/times that you worked, start sketching out the details of the jobs and responsibilities that you held while there. Again, this is the very simple 65,000 foot view of things, the bare bones.
Our expert, Sue Campbell of 1st-Writer, will give us some pointers on how to get from here to there later in the week, so we can start to pull all of this together.
We're going to do this together in baby steps, so....get off your ass, leave those cabinets alone, and get started!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thoughts for the interview...
Pat yourself on the back for going on an interview, Kim! Maybe it was an exercise in humility, but it certainly was good practice! Your wonderful husband and daughter are right, you have accomplished so much. Often, I feel that we SAHs don't give ourself enough credit for what we have accomplished... I got my kids out the door this morning without screaming at them, for one. Hey, it's no small feat in my world!
So, what else have we accomplished?
Let's take a look at all that volunteering:
Kim worked the book fair, for example. Here's the spin:
1. You successfully managed a team of 20 individuals.
2. You had a budget responsibility for 20% of the "company"'s gross profit.
3. You managed to increase your own department's budget by 10% from last year - even in these challenging economic times!
4. You assisted your company in reaching 106% of its annual revenue by the second quarter, even better!
5. What about how your team built a strategic marketing campaign to reach its target audience? Your team, under your leadership, no less, utilized new marketing and advertising techniques (ie: social media, print and e-newsletter ads, etc.)
6. What else? Did you come in under-budget? I'm sure you did!
If we begin to look at our non-income generating activities as if they were an actual job, which they are, then we come to realize just how much we have done, how much we have learned, and even if the PTA book fair isn't a Fortune 500 company, that activity has added to our "work" experience, and it needn't be forgotten!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Are you there job?? It's me, Diane...
Gotta love that story!! Hurray for the interview... I haven't even gotten there yet. As with many SAHs we now have the option to go back to the same career or industry, or to engage in a new one. Regardless of which we choose, we all have to reinvent ourselves. Not only are we now moms, but we are older (gasp!), wiser women. We should be able to ask for, and receive, what it is that we want. So, that begs the question: What kind of career do I want??
My husband asked me to write down all of the things that I would be happy doing, regardless of whether they were actual careers. As I pondered this, I thought, "gee, I'd be happy doing anything, as long as it was in the right sort of environment!" I want to work for a company in a position that is flexible, one that is challenging and engaging, and one that puts me in contact with (relatively) intelligent adults. I want a career that doesn't require me going back to school or spending tons of money to re-educate myself. As much as I'd love to be a child psychologist, my heart just isn't into studying late every evening and spending my afternoons around skinny 20-somethings who have never even had a child, but want to analyze them. I admire those of you who have the drive to do this, its just not me.
So, where am I going to find this job?? And more importantly, how am I going to convince them to hire me? What do I bring to the table??
For one, I am resourceful (always have been) - meaning that if I don't know the answer or how to do something, I will figure it out (fairly quickly, I might add). That's why I can fix an air-cooled VW bug with a gum wrapper and some duct tape.
Secondly, if you are willing to be flexible with my schedule, I will actually work during the hours that you employ me! Instead of surfing the net, tweeting my friends or checking facebook statuses. And, I promise, no blogging on the clock either!
I will get twice as much done in half as much time: Moms need to be efficient. We are masters at multi-tasking. We need to get as much done as possible in a short amount of time!
How will I do this? I am educated, experienced, and confident. I am able to make decisions quickly and easily, and I'll have a spreadsheet to back up my reasoning. I am a leader that others will respect (just ask anyone who has worked for me or with me in the past). I am also, because of the flexibility, the most talented and experienced individual that you will get for a reasonable price! We are former directors, VPs, managers of multi-million dollar companies, who managed teams with multi-million dollar budgets. Don't think we haven't continued to be efficient just because we managed our smaller household budgets!
Now, how do I put that all in a resume???
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
How did I get here from there and where the heck do I go now??
My story is a little different in that I was a single, working mom for 6 1/2 years. My last job posting had my daughter and I living in Bangkok, Thailand where I was working as a program manager for an aerospace company. Then I met and married the man who is now my husband, and we moved back to the US - Atlanta, GA specifically - to start a new life as a family.
It seemed to make the most sense for me to take at least a year off to get us all situated and adjusted to our new lives....I was finally getting the chance to be the stay at home (SAH) mom that I had always envied! This would be awesome!!!!!
Talk about an identity crisis - it took me a full year (and many emotional breakdowns) just to learn how to be that woman and to be ok with it - and I was still chafing to get back to work.
Then the summer came and we had so much fun! For the first time EVER, there were no day camps, babysitters, or nannies, I just rolled with it and instead of feeling overwhelmed and guilty all summer - we had a blast! My husband is a consultant and was able to take time for us to take mini-vacations and hang out, Belle and I went to the pool often, had play dates, made new friends and strengthened existing friendships, and most importantly tightened our bond as a family. Maybe I was cut out for the SAH mom thing after all.....
The first clue really should have been the PTA book fair - I was one of three co-chairs and when we started I was very mellow about it all - have fun and make money for the school, what could be better? Somewhere during it all, it became a PROJECT like the many that I had managed during my career and the driven, overachieving Kim came out of stasis. I will say to my credit that I was able to step back and know when I should let one of my (wonderful) co-chairs talk to a vendor or volunteer who wasn't doing what they promised since it's (apparently) not politic to take volunteers to task. The Book Fair was a huge hit and we did have a lot of fun but the stage was set....
As I mentioned, my husband is a consultant. He picked up a short term gig as a Program Manager for an airline and it was a huge project (and incidentally what I did in my previous professional life)...inside I was salivating and green with envy. I pumped him for details, offered (unsolicited and unnecessary) suggestions, and was generally a pain in the ass. As I was emphatically demanding more information one evening, so irrationally mad that I was in tears, it occurred to me that I was trying to live vicariously through him - a definite A-HA and AH-SHIT moment.
So the writing is on the wall - I have to get back to work! But I've also finally found the joy in being a SAH mom and I'm not willing to give that up entirely - how do I find the balance? That's I've been noodling on for the past 6 weeks or so since my epiphany and what I was thinking about on the morning that Diane and I were walking and talking.
Where do I go from here and how do I get there? There's no roadmap for what I want to accomplish. And what is it exactly that I want to accomplish?
Diane summed it up perfectly...I want to ROCK!
And I suspect that we aren't the only ones.
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