It's time to leave the nest (again) by Kim

Recently I was approached by a colleague whom I worked with in my prior life. He's tired of working for the man and has a great idea for starting up a new company - he just needs someone to market it (that would be me) and help provide a non-engineering view of how to structure and package it (also me). We met last weekend and I'm not going to lie - I'm pretty excited about the potential. I'm also surprisingly giddy at the prospect of getting in front of customers and doing what I'm pretty damn good at. Not to mention it would feel pretty stinking good to truly contribute financially to our household.

Then, while discussing this with Honey, he got a somewhat hurt expression and says "well if you're going to go out and market in the industry, I'd rather you sell for me" - (amazing what a little competition will do). Of course this leads to the question of whether we could work effectively together....but that's another blog post.

And so I've been obsessively contemplating what it is that I want to do now. Di's had a great opportunity to get back into the work place over the past months - and while there have definitely been challenges- it appears that she's thoroughly enjoying reestablishing that part of herself that isn't wife or mom and I'll admit it, I'm envious of that. Don't get me wrong, I've got a great life and I love the flexibility that I now have to try things out but at a certain point I'm just spinning my wheels - it's time for me to put on my big girl pants and fully commit to a course of action! So I'll be making lists, looking at the family logistics and weighing various possibilities over the weekend but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be opting for the opportunities that get me out of the home office and back in front of clients...stay tuned.

The BIG Experiment!! Day One by Diane

6:30-7:30 Getting kids ready for school:  Went generally well for a Monday.  Reconsidering the chores assigned to children.

7:30-7:45 Slowed down, Opened car door= pushed them out

7:45-9:00 By some small miracle traffic was slight for a Monday. Had great work out, feel good!

9:00-9:45 I am clean and pretty.  Wonder what will happen when I have to wear something besides jeans and slippers, however.

9:45-11:30 Sit down in home office.  Odd smell in seldom used room.  Resist urge to investigate.  Resist urge to answer emails.  Post blog.  Read blogs.  Resist urge to look at emails.  Work on resume.  Hubby comes by to see what I am up to.  Response: "Working"

11:30  Finally succumb to incessant chiming of emails.  ACK!  Email from hubby (who works in the other room, no less) to check out some $10 socks he wants to buy.  Resist urge to scream.

11:35  Back to work on resume.  Research resume writing tips.

12:00  Hubby comes by to see what I am doing.  Response: "Working"

12:10  Hubby comes by to ask if he can make me a sandwich.  How nice- good husband.

12:15-1:15  Continue to work on resume and research.  Still wondering about that smell...

1:15-2:15  Proud of myself, actually did answer all of my PTA emails and worked on volunteer activities!

2:15-4:30  Was worried about this part of the day.  Fortunately, hubby helped son with homework and I continued to clean around the house, including finding and cleaning source of strange smell.  Got one load of laundry folded while children put their clothes away, and managed to return a phone call and some emails, most of which were volunteer related (so much for sticking to one hour).

4:30-4:40  Forgot to pay a bill due tomorrow.  Thank goodness for online banking.

5:00-6:15  Wonderful hubby prepares meatloaf while I fold laundry and order children to put it away.  Remind children of their chore responsibilities while making potatoes, salad and green beans to go with aforementioned meatloaf.  Play words with friends while cooking.  Pour glass of wine.

6:15-7:30  Clean up while wonderful hubby bathes kids.  Unfortunately the dishwasher is still running, so rinse dishes and pile in sink.  Wonder if I will get to them tonight, or wait until the morning.  Program coffee maker (bonus!) for early start.  Another load of laundry done. Pour second glass of wine

7:30-8:00  Read kids a book, worry that 5 year old will never read because his mommy never reads to him.  Check email and I have an interview on Wednesday!  Wow... then the panic sets in...ah, hell, lets have another glass of wine!   Make to-do list for tomorrow (finish resume!)

8:00- 10:00 Wow, today wasn't so bad.  I'm thinking that this might be do-able.  I still have laundry piled in the hallway, my bed isn't made, and the dishes are still in the sink, but feel I have accomplished more than I expected.  Then again... tomorrow is another day!

The BIG Experiment!! Day 1 by Kim

6:30-7:30 Hit snooze until 6:40 but fortunately Shorty is a better morning person than her mom - so smooth sailing for a Monday morning.

7:30-7:45 Slowed down and she remembered to tuck and roll!

7:45-9:00 Didn't make the workout as I was obsessing about the huge amount of crap that I had to do. Hubby gets all chatty while I'm typing but after a few grunted responses asks if I want to be left alone.

9:00-9:45 Still wearing the pj, yoga pant, hoodie combo that I pulled on when I got out of bed. Soooo pretty. But have whittled down my to-do list enough that I'm able to see the rest of my week being ok which feels like a decent trade off.

9:45-11:30 Have gotten SO much done! Only played words with friends twice and danced with the cat once...not too shabby!

11:30 Made some lunch and walked past all the dishes still in the sink where they were left by unnamed family members. Maybe they will put themselves into the dishwasher...

11:35 Chuckle at Diane's husbands' quest for $10 socks and marvel at her restraint. Thank Hubby for picking up prescription and feel slightly bad that I didn't wait to have lunch with him.

11:45 Back to work. Edited seminar materials, posted the resume blog entry, paid bills, and did some more research.

1:15 Decide that today I'm going to "volunteer" to shower and the "passion" that I'm going to focus on is making myself generally presentable. Feeling like a scrub, albeit an extremely productive scrub.

So my following of the schedule this morning wasn't too great, seeing as I didn't get the workout or the shower in - but tomorrow is another day! And I'm feeling pretty optimistic about this afternoon...

2:20 Got Shorty picked up and ran to Walgreens. Now she's putting her clothes away while I peck away on this and then it'll be time for homework. Fractions today - it's a little disconcerting when you're apprehensive about 2nd grade homework but she still believes I know everything. Do you remember fractions...I don't!

2:30 - 4:30 Shorty does homework and I putter around in the house, nothing especially constructive. Hubby loads the dishwasher and starts it. :)

5:30 Realize that I bought flounder instead of ANY other type of fish plus it's been a couple of days so it's a bit sketchy. Hubby cooks flounder and squash while I make a chimichurri sauce to disguise flounder. Comes out of oven - blech, not eating it!

6:30 Make spaghetti. Laugh about disgusting flounder as a family.

8:00 Shorty to bed and Hubby and I watch House.

9:30 BED!!!

10:30 To sleep.

The thing that made the most impact on me today is that if I block out the time to work and have the discipline to stick to that schedule, I get so much more accomplished and feel better about myself (and things in general) at the end of the day. I was disappointed that I didn't get a work out in but have to really work at making that a non-negotiable priority, hence I'm walking with a friend at 6:30AM tomorrow. I also will remember that I don't like sketchy flounder.

How did I get here from there and where the heck do I go now??

My story is a little different in that I was a single, working mom for 6 1/2 years. My last job posting had my daughter and I living in Bangkok, Thailand where I was working as a program manager for an aerospace company. Then I met and married the man who is now my husband, and we moved back to the US - Atlanta, GA specifically - to start a new life as a family.

It seemed to make the most sense for me to take at least a year off to get us all situated and adjusted to our new lives....I was finally getting the chance to be the stay at home (SAH) mom that I had always envied! This would be awesome!!!!!

Talk about an identity crisis - it took me a full year (and many emotional breakdowns) just to learn how to be that woman and to be ok with it - and I was still chafing to get back to work.

Then the summer came and we had so much fun! For the first time EVER, there were no day camps, babysitters, or nannies, I just rolled with it and instead of feeling overwhelmed and guilty all summer - we had a blast! My husband is a consultant and was able to take time for us to take mini-vacations and hang out, Belle and I went to the pool often, had play dates, made new friends and strengthened existing friendships, and most importantly tightened our bond as a family. Maybe I was cut out for the SAH mom thing after all.....

The first clue really should have been the PTA book fair - I was one of three co-chairs and when we started I was very mellow about it all - have fun and make money for the school, what could be better? Somewhere during it all, it became a PROJECT like the many that I had managed during my career and the driven, overachieving Kim came out of stasis. I will say to my credit that I was able to step back and know when I should let one of my (wonderful) co-chairs talk to a vendor or volunteer who wasn't doing what they promised since it's (apparently) not politic to take volunteers to task. The Book Fair was a huge hit and we did have a lot of fun but the stage was set....

As I mentioned, my husband is a consultant. He picked up a short term gig as a Program Manager for an airline and it was a huge project (and incidentally what I did in my previous professional life)...inside I was salivating and green with envy. I pumped him for details, offered (unsolicited and unnecessary) suggestions, and was generally a pain in the ass. As I was emphatically demanding more information one evening, so irrationally mad that I was in tears, it occurred to me that I was trying to live vicariously through him - a definite A-HA and AH-SHIT moment.

So the writing is on the wall - I have to get back to work! But I've also finally found the joy in being a SAH mom and I'm not willing to give that up entirely - how do I find the balance? That's I've been noodling on for the past 6 weeks or so since my epiphany and what I was thinking about on the morning that Diane and I were walking and talking.

Where do I go from here and how do I get there? There's no roadmap for what I want to accomplish. And what is it exactly that I want to accomplish?

Diane summed it up perfectly...I want to ROCK!

And I suspect that we aren't the only ones.