Tips for Leaving the Nest

Congratulations Kim!!  I too have been out of the blogging loop for awhile, so much so as I forgot my login and password!  As you mentioned, because I took a temporary contract position.  I have learned so much from my experience to share with everyone thinking of going back to work, after being a stay-at-home mom for so long.  Here's my story:

A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work.  I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc.  I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband.  She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".

TIP #1:  Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know.  Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!

So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer.  Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning.  Perfect!  I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project.  It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!

TIP #2:  Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay.  If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)

After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client.  I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility.  Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home.  No problem.

TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!

I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids.  Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home.  I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s.  A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs.  Now, I am swamped.  Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.

TIP #4:  Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more

The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future.  How can I refuse?!  I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby.  Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary.  I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary.  Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care.  Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep.  I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining.  Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.

TIP #5:  There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.

So, what have I learned through this "project"?  I have learned a bunch!  I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids.  The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired).  I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life.  Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach.  (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy)  There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office.  These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.

So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us!  It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:

You're freaking amazing - be sure that they know it!!

The final post in our series on resumes, how to handle the holes and other pitfalls that cause us heartburn as we try to get back into the workplace. We feel that this post was the most important and also the thing that we're all least likely to do - so work on bragging!

Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What do you think is the biggest mistake that women make when writing/rewriting their resume?

Not taking full credit for all they bring to the table and not fully recognizing or appreciating their own worth or corporate value. Using “I’m just..,” or “I’ve only…” at the beginning of any sentence.

Women sometimes dismiss or internally diminish incredibly valuable skills and abilities, thinking they have less value, somehow, or mistakenly believing that openly recognizing their own value and worth equals arrogance.

Of all the times in your life where humility may pay, writing your résumé is not one of them.

Surely it hasn't been THAT long!? *@#!! I'm old!

This week we're continuing our focus on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, kick the cat, and consider a new career as a carny. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What about dates? Do I have to put the dates I received my degrees?

For employment, you don’t need to include months, you can just list years (i.e. 2005-2007), but you have to include dates.

For college degrees, you can omit dates in your résumé, but expect to provide this information at the interview or application process. Understand, too, that while your reader probably won’t give this too much thought, he or she is likely notice that the dates have been omitted.

My Mission Statement: To get a job.

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, put on the stretchy pants, and consider a new career in competitive eating. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

Is it absolutely necessary to have a mission statement? If so, how do you write a mission statement for your résumé (especially if your mission is to just get a job)?

First of all, never forget that your résumé is a marketing piece or that you’re writing your résumé for the sheer and complete benefit of your reader.

Imagine, for example, an ad for vacuum cleaners that begins with the statement, “We really need you to buy this vacuum cleaner so we can pay our electric bill.”

At this stage of the game, your reader doesn’t care what your hopes or aspirations may be. They simply want to know whether or not you’re qualified for the position and company you’re targeting, whether it’s in their interest to meet you, in person, to learn more, and how they may benefit by hiring you.

Later, at the interview stage, your needs and interests will become more important. But for now, it’s all about the reader.

So if you include a mission statement, or preferably a summary of qualifications section, keep the focus on what you bring to the table and how your skills, abilities and characteristics will benefit the company and meet its needs and expectations.

For example, a typical objective statement tends to focus more on what the candidate hopes to secure than what he or she brings to the table, but this can be altered by focusing on the reader’s interests:

“To secure the position of ________________________ at (Name of Company) where my skills in ______________________, _______________________ and _____________________ may best benefit (Name of Company)’s ____________________ goals and expectations.”

"She said what?!?"

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, get loaded, and consider a new career as a rodeo clown. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What are some key words should you include in your resume? What words should you avoid?

Include terms that are relevant to the field, position and industry you’re targeting and the positions you’ve held in the past. For example, an engineer should use the verb “engineer” (or “engineered”) somewhere in his or her document. A manager should be using the verb “manage” (or “managed”) when describing his or her work. And yet you’d be surprised how often this doesn’t happen. Other strong verb choices for someone in a leadership role include: Guide, Direct, Drive, and Lead, among others, and yet you’ll see résumés that have bullet point after bullet point leading with “Responsible for…”

When you’re writing your statements of responsibility, lead these statements with strong action verbs that show your reader your direct role and level of responsibility. Avoid phrases such as “Responsible for…” or “Duties included…” which dilute the strength of the statement.

Avoid words that feel inflated or are words you’d never use in your normal speech. When I read “Elevated Customer Satisfaction,” I wonder, “Would this person actually say “elevated” in an interview or any other situation describing his work?” Probably not.

Despite a variety of career related articles suggesting that phrases such as, “Proven record of achievement in…” or “Extensive experience in…” should be omitted from the résumé, I disagree. Include these kinds of declarations, but back them up with proof. If you have extensive experience in any area that’s vital to the position you’re targeting, it’s good to let the potential employer know this, but don’t stop there; tell the reader how this expertise will benefit him or her. Example:

“Extensive experience in brand building and market share. Consistently penetrate competitive target markets and increase revenue growth, even in challenging economic climates.”

Function versus Form?

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and consider a new career as a balloon animal engineer. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals

How do you organize a functional resume, as opposed to a chronological resume? Is that the best way to go?

A functional résumé is typically used by job candidates who:

• Have gaps in employment they want to hide.
• Wish to bring relevant, but possibly less utilized, skills to the forefront.
• Want to bypass titles which poorly reflect actual work responsibilities or accountability levels.
• Hope to change career paths and therefore want the reader to recognize transferable skills.

All of which are great reasons. The problem with using a functional format is that most hiring managers and HR directors know why candidates use functional résumés, too, and often will look for the very problems the candidate is trying so hard to hide.

A functional résumé is typically organized by skill groups or areas of expertise, with examples of these skills applied (but not where or when), followed by a brief outline of job titles, company names, locations and dates (without description). Example of order of information:

• Name
• Contact Information
• Summary of Qualifications (brief)
• Functional Headings (such as: Marketing, Management, Project Leadership, etc.) in the order of their value and relevance to the position and company being targeted – with bulleted details showing these skills applied, and including the results of the candidate’s efforts and contributions
• Employment History (in reverse chronological format, with little or no detail)
• Education
• Relevant Professional Associations (optional)
• Community Service (optional)

The BIG Experiment!! Day One by Diane

6:30-7:30 Getting kids ready for school:  Went generally well for a Monday.  Reconsidering the chores assigned to children.

7:30-7:45 Slowed down, Opened car door= pushed them out

7:45-9:00 By some small miracle traffic was slight for a Monday. Had great work out, feel good!

9:00-9:45 I am clean and pretty.  Wonder what will happen when I have to wear something besides jeans and slippers, however.

9:45-11:30 Sit down in home office.  Odd smell in seldom used room.  Resist urge to investigate.  Resist urge to answer emails.  Post blog.  Read blogs.  Resist urge to look at emails.  Work on resume.  Hubby comes by to see what I am up to.  Response: "Working"

11:30  Finally succumb to incessant chiming of emails.  ACK!  Email from hubby (who works in the other room, no less) to check out some $10 socks he wants to buy.  Resist urge to scream.

11:35  Back to work on resume.  Research resume writing tips.

12:00  Hubby comes by to see what I am doing.  Response: "Working"

12:10  Hubby comes by to ask if he can make me a sandwich.  How nice- good husband.

12:15-1:15  Continue to work on resume and research.  Still wondering about that smell...

1:15-2:15  Proud of myself, actually did answer all of my PTA emails and worked on volunteer activities!

2:15-4:30  Was worried about this part of the day.  Fortunately, hubby helped son with homework and I continued to clean around the house, including finding and cleaning source of strange smell.  Got one load of laundry folded while children put their clothes away, and managed to return a phone call and some emails, most of which were volunteer related (so much for sticking to one hour).

4:30-4:40  Forgot to pay a bill due tomorrow.  Thank goodness for online banking.

5:00-6:15  Wonderful hubby prepares meatloaf while I fold laundry and order children to put it away.  Remind children of their chore responsibilities while making potatoes, salad and green beans to go with aforementioned meatloaf.  Play words with friends while cooking.  Pour glass of wine.

6:15-7:30  Clean up while wonderful hubby bathes kids.  Unfortunately the dishwasher is still running, so rinse dishes and pile in sink.  Wonder if I will get to them tonight, or wait until the morning.  Program coffee maker (bonus!) for early start.  Another load of laundry done. Pour second glass of wine

7:30-8:00  Read kids a book, worry that 5 year old will never read because his mommy never reads to him.  Check email and I have an interview on Wednesday!  Wow... then the panic sets in...ah, hell, lets have another glass of wine!   Make to-do list for tomorrow (finish resume!)

8:00- 10:00 Wow, today wasn't so bad.  I'm thinking that this might be do-able.  I still have laundry piled in the hallway, my bed isn't made, and the dishes are still in the sink, but feel I have accomplished more than I expected.  Then again... tomorrow is another day!

There are HOLES in this resume!!

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, crawl back into bed, and consider a career in origami. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

How do you cover the "holes" in your resume for the time that you were out of the workforce?

Rather than trying to hide gaps in your résumé, fill them, instead.

If you haven’t been spending any of this time in self-improvement, it’s not too late to add a layer of current activity to your résumé through volunteer work or education.

Actively employed candidates will always be viewed as “more hirable” by hiring managers. And candidates with recent experience will appear more “current.” However, if you’re reentering the workplace after a significant time away, you can give the same impression of being current by showing recent activity in areas deemed relevant or valuable to the types of positions and companies you’re currently targeting.

First, determine what skills, abilities and characteristics (personal and professional) the potential employer is trying to secure in potential candidates. This information is usually obtained via job ads, recruiters or company research.

Next, consider in what ways you’ve actively applied these skills in the recent past. Consider personality characteristics along with applied skills and technical abilities, such as communication, problem-solving, time management and resource allocation skills.

Create a summary section that focuses on that which you bring to the table – TODAY – in relevant skills, abilities and characteristics, and then show the reader your most recent application of these skills – even if this was through a continuing education course (leading with your education) or via non-paid community service – early in your document.

The what, where and when is always going to be important – but what really matters is what you CAN DO, and how what you can do –your efforts and contributions – will benefit a potential employer.

The BIG Experiment!!

We've all been reading about Gwynnie's taxing daily schedule as a working mom, so we have busy schedules on the brain. In preparing the family, and yourself, for returning to work, Kim and I thought that it might be fun(ny) to have a sort-of trial run on how things might operate with mommy going back to work. Going off of the premise that if you're currently looking for work OR if you're starting a home business (as we are), there's a certain amount of time that you'll have to dedicate to the effort, we came up with the following schedule. (When we start working full time, there will be a WHOLE new schedule complete with a Survival Guide for our husbands.) For this whole week though, we are going to follow the schedule below to a T and report on how our kids, husbands, and selves fare as well as any casualties (I'm telling you right now that I don't see laundry pulling through!):

6:30-7:20 am Get up and get the kids ready for school/get mommy ready for the gym

7:30-7:45 am Slow down the car and push the kids out the door at school

8:00-9:00 am Go to the gym/workout - this is essential to plan into your day for your own well-being (so that you aren't sobbing as you try to squeeze into that business suit from pre-baby days)! Do it!!

9:00-9:45 am Home from the gym to shower (conditioning hair while stretching muscles a la Mrs. Rock-star's wife and movie star mom)

9:45-1:15 pm WORK: work on blog, work on networking, work on resume! 3 1/2 hours - DO NOT MULTI-TASK! - no house cleaning, laundry, errand running - only working!)

1:15-2:15 pm Volunteer activities and being involved at school (or whatever you are passionate about)

2:15-5:15 pm Kids are home from school: help with homework, fix healthy snacks (or throw goldfish at them), have playdates, extra-curricular activities, etc. Try to engage the kids... try not to play words with friends... resist urge to allow children to watch hours of TV.

5:30-6:00 pm Fix dinner (see our "For Meals on the Fly" on the sidebar or just have the local fishmonger deliver as GOOP suggests)

6:00-6:30 pm Eat dinner together as a family (pour first glass of wine)

6:30-7:30 pm Clean up and get the kids ready for bed (pour second glass of wine while children are bathing)

7:30-8:00 pm Check emails (make sure there aren't any important messages) and make To-Do list for following day

8:00-10:00 pm Grown-up time. Whether it's Couple-time, Friend-time, or Me-time - make sure to schedule at least one night of each this week!

10:00 pm Bedtime

Notice that we haven't built in specific time slots for house clean-up, laundry, errands, grocery shopping, dishwasher emptying...yep, we're curious to see how that's going to shake out too - husbands, maybe?

Anyone else out there ready to take the challenge with us??!!

"Step away from the cabinets, Ma'am!" by Kim

Diane's post brought back the agony that I went through when I had to redo my resume this past summer - by the time that it was all said and done I think that the whole thing took me well over a month. My previous resume was LONG gone on the hard drive of a long gone computer; fortunately the resume that landed me the life-changing job in Asia had been written by Sue Campbell, a wonderful resume writer who is infinitely more organized than I. I asked her to email me a copy and *poof*, there it was in my inbox. I opened it, looked at it, closed it and went to clean out my bathroom cabinets. :)

A couple of days (weeks) went by and I opened it again and started the process of adding the past 3 years of experience. But even with a model right in front of me (of my own resume no less), I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes without getting frustrated and walking away from it. Finally, with input from Husband, family, and friends I had enough *stuff* to fill out the questionnaire that Sue had sent me and quickly dropped it back in her lap to make me sound fabulous!

All told it took me about a month to get to that point - it's silly as I sit here thinking about it now but the paralyzation was vividly, painfully real at the time and now it's time to update it again, sigh. Writing this blog and getting to talk with all sorts of other women facing similar challenges has been incredibly cathartic for me - it's great to know I'm not alone, I mean I'm sorry for them and all but....you know what I mean.

We'll be talking with Sue this week to get some input and practical advice for rewriting, recreating, or just freshening up your resume. In the meantime, if you want to start some forward momentum or can't stand the idea of cleaning out those bathroom cabinets again, here are a couple ideas to get you moving:

1. Start small - just a rough list of all of your personal qualities (both good and "challenging") that you can think of. Don't forget to incorporate the items from your career in MomWorld that Diane identified in "Thoughts for the Interview". Now...ask husbands, friends, family members - only people who will be honest but not brutal. Live with your list for a couple of days - add to it but don't take anything off, we tend to edit ourselves way too much. It's your opportunity to brag, do it!

2. At the same time, especially if you're starting from scratch, start working on a VERY simple timeline of your career - dates, places, titles. It seems excessively easy but after a couple of years at home, I'm lucky if I can recall what I had for dinner last Tuesday, much less where I was and what I was doing in 1998.

3. Once you've identified the places/times that you worked, start sketching out the details of the jobs and responsibilities that you held while there. Again, this is the very simple 65,000 foot view of things, the bare bones.

Our expert, Sue Campbell of 1st-Writer, will give us some pointers on how to get from here to there later in the week, so we can start to pull all of this together.

We're going to do this together in baby steps, so....get off your ass, leave those cabinets alone, and get started!

New Years Resolution #1 - write resume!

Well, it's a brand new year! The holidays have passed and we moms can get cracking on that job search! A week ago, I spoke to a friend of mine about my past career-life. I told her about what I did and how I did it and then she asked if I would be interested in doing some consulting work for her company. Sure! I thought, just what I need! Then, the other shoe dropped... she asked me for my resume... YIKES! Resume? What resume??

Procrastination, my current bff...

For many of you already out there and ahead of me on the job search, resume writing was a daunting task. But, when you have had at least 3 different computers over the last 8 years and haven't bothered to save your resume file, let alone update your resume every year or so, the task is down-right overwhelming! It is one of the things easily shoved in the back of a drawer somewhere, with the thought that you'll eventually get back to it... I'd rather clean out my bathroom cabinets than work on my resume! I have now been avoiding my friend, with a paying job for ME, for a week!!

Why on earth is this such a difficult thing to do?! Maybe it is because it is so hard for most women to brag about themselves? Maybe it is because it takes focused thought that most of us don't have time for (but need to make time for)? Maybe it is because all of my pre-child memories leaked out of my brain during the birthing process??

Sure you can hire a resume writer, or download a resume template, but you still have to THINK about what to put on your resume. And what happens when you can't remember what it is that you used to do, or for whom you used to work??

I'm looking for tips??? Anyone??? Please comment with any helpful suggestions!

Well, at least I have a very neatly organized bathroom!

Thoughts for the interview...

Pat yourself on the back for going on an interview, Kim! Maybe it was an exercise in humility, but it certainly was good practice! Your wonderful husband and daughter are right, you have accomplished so much. Often, I feel that we SAHs don't give ourself enough credit for what we have accomplished... I got my kids out the door this morning without screaming at them, for one. Hey, it's no small feat in my world!

So, what else have we accomplished?

Let's take a look at all that volunteering:

Kim worked the book fair, for example. Here's the spin:

1. You successfully managed a team of 20 individuals.

2. You had a budget responsibility for 20% of the "company"'s gross profit.

3. You managed to increase your own department's budget by 10% from last year - even in these challenging economic times!

4. You assisted your company in reaching 106% of its annual revenue by the second quarter, even better!

5. What about how your team built a strategic marketing campaign to reach its target audience? Your team, under your leadership, no less, utilized new marketing and advertising techniques (ie: social media, print and e-newsletter ads, etc.)

6. What else? Did you come in under-budget? I'm sure you did!

If we begin to look at our non-income generating activities as if they were an actual job, which they are, then we come to realize just how much we have done, how much we have learned, and even if the PTA book fair isn't a Fortune 500 company, that activity has added to our "work" experience, and it needn't be forgotten!

So... where do we go from here?? by Diane

Ditto Kim!! Just as glad as I was to find that I wasn't the only one who wished to get back into the workforce, I think we were both stymied on where to start. "What do you want to do with your life?" echoes in my mind every morning when I wake up. As powerful and successful as I used to be before I left the workforce, and as wonderful as I am at being a stay-at-home (SAH), it is still difficult to answer that question.

I recently accompanied my husband on a long weekend business conference. In the evenings, the company would have us all out for cocktails and then dinner. I was surprised by how much fun it was to talk to people about the business again. I was actually able to hold a conversation about something other than homework and head lice epidemics at school! Phew, I really am an adult after all!

Going on that trip, while I know that there is still a lot that I have to do, find that old PC with my resume, for one, I finally figured out what I want to do.... I want to ROCK!!