You can't be me, I'm a rock star ... by Diane

Hi everyone!

So, it's been quite awhile since I have posted, and I am here to report that it is not for lack of intent!  Here is what happened:

I was sitting around having cocktails with a bunch of girlfriends one evening, talking about how I'd like to re-enter the workforce, and how, although it presented some challenges (ie: resume writing, child care issues, "what the heck I want to do with my life", etc.) I was gung ho and ready!  My wonderful friend, who is the head of her company, not in title or responsibility, but in spirit, suggested that I come in and work a couple hours a day, a couple days a week, for minimal pay, at her company to get something current on my resume.  I found out that she is like the hero of the working woman, the one who rescues those who have lost their jobs, or are unhappy in their current employment state.  She is currently helping at least 3 other people pull together their resumes!

She is also CRAZY!  Not crazy in the unbalanced, need a straight jacket sort of way (although she might think otherwise), but she has endless amounts of energy, which she doles out to her job, her family, and, as you will see, her friends!  This is the superwoman who will catch you in the tornado of her excitement, and you will want to let go and be carried away.

So, I agreed to go to work with her, at her company - she had to talk the owner and the accounting people into it, and I am sure, at first, that they were like, "what sort of lunatic is this, and why is she here"?!  After the first week of part-time, basic work (read: research, filing, etc.), they were asking me to work everyday, part-time.  I gladly accepted, even though I was referred to as "little buddy" and no one was still quite sure about how I fit into their organization.

After another week or so, again, I was asked to step it up to full-time, temporarily - big projects... etc.  And I, like any person with a work ethic was willing to go the extra mile to make sure that the company was being supported (just as I had done before I had kids).  I did, however, have to make some changes at home:
- Had to get wonderful hubby to take on many household responsibilities
- Had to figure out child care after school for my kids on a regular basis

I missed (or was late to) dinners with my friends on friday evenings, PTA meetings, homework went unchecked, laundry and housework went undone (one day I actually wore to work not one single article of clothing that had been cleaned between wearings!)  I did not watch a single TV program during which I did not fall asleep.  My kids became cranky (more on that later), my husband became cranky, my friends missed me, and I am sure that the PTA was cranky about my lack of upholding my responsibilities.

Of course, I am sure that this crankiness was all because everyone on the other side viewed my "job" as temporary, one that would end one day, and I would return to the world of the stay-at-home mom.  Even I, at one point, missed my kids, my family, and my friends, and wondered why the heck I was doing this!

However, the pinnacle of my temporary position was just last week.  I had the opportunity to see all of my hard work, and that of everyone else working on that project, come together.  Coming back from that business trip, I felt like a rock star!  We were brilliant, and amazing, quick-thinking and creative.  It was an incredible feeling, that I have to say, I rarely, if ever get from being a stay-at-home mom.  Sure, it has its triumphs, but people aren't kidding when they say that being a mom is a thankless job.

So, where does that leave me now... confused, divided, yearning... Part of me wishes to come back home and be with my kids, and part of me (now that I've gotten used to it) really wants to continue to be the rock star...  the question is, which one do I want more?

Tips for Leaving the Nest

Congratulations Kim!!  I too have been out of the blogging loop for awhile, so much so as I forgot my login and password!  As you mentioned, because I took a temporary contract position.  I have learned so much from my experience to share with everyone thinking of going back to work, after being a stay-at-home mom for so long.  Here's my story:

A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work.  I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc.  I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband.  She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".

TIP #1:  Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know.  Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!

So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer.  Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning.  Perfect!  I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project.  It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!

TIP #2:  Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay.  If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)

After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client.  I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility.  Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home.  No problem.

TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!

I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids.  Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home.  I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s.  A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs.  Now, I am swamped.  Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.

TIP #4:  Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more

The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future.  How can I refuse?!  I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby.  Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary.  I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary.  Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care.  Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep.  I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining.  Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.

TIP #5:  There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.

So, what have I learned through this "project"?  I have learned a bunch!  I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids.  The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired).  I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life.  Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach.  (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy)  There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office.  These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.

So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us!  It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:

Dropping the Ball(s)

I have to apologize. I've been gone, absent, MIA, and AWOL for the past 2 weeks. As good as I get at juggling, there are times that life just kicks the crap out of me while I'm looking the other way. Since the holiday break that closely followed by The Great Blizzard of 2011, it has felt like I'm slipping, hanging on by my fingertips sometimes and not quite able to catch my balance. 2 weeks ago I completely careened off track.

It doesn't feel like it's always been this way. When I was a single, working mom, I could do it all. I was able to keep a (relatively) cleanish house, the laundry caught up, dinners on the table (so what if Shorty and I ate out so often that when we did eat at home she was looking for the waitress), and my work/life obligations handled with aplomb.

Then Shorty and I moved to Thailand and it became pretty darn easy to be a single working mom. In fact, I can't honestly say that I was a single mom there. After all, get the violins and hankies ready, we had a maid, nanny and driver (K. Pim, Kwang, and K. Tanin) who were with us all the time and in fact made up a family of sorts for us. When Shorty learned to ride a bike, it was Khun Tanin who ran up and down the street with her. And when I got home in the evening, Khun Pim had dinner made and the laundry done, and we could all sit down and eat dinner together. The time that I could spend with Shorty was the "quality kind" because Kwang made sure that she was bathed (along with any other children that were at our house! (But that's another story!)) and that homework was done. I knew that she was loved and cared for and played with and so while there was always the pang of guilt that comes motherhood, I didn't worry as much as I had before. We were spoiled and it was awesome.

Then we met and married Honey and it turns out that I didn't know what awesome really was! We moved back to the US and are a real family, he was the piece that was missing. But.....it seems that I lost that ability to multitask - to get the laundry done, the groceries stocked, the dinner on the table in a timely fashion, all while excelling at my job (I know, I know the violins are playing). And even though all time spent with Shorty is the "quality kind", I spend more of it fussing about homework, trying to remember when her last shower was, and getting after her to do her chores. Some days I'm sick of myself so I can only imagine how she feels! And so things slide through the cracks.

Last week Shorty has a stomach ache and a fever. After trying to let it fix itself for a day or so, Honey took her to the doctor where she was diagnosed with strep...and extreme constipation. The strep...ok, fine, it's been going around. But the doctor asked when the last time Shorty had pooped was and when neither of them knew, proceeded to give him the full lecture that really should have been given to me. Turns out she's been so constipated that her colon is stretched out and she's full of poo, she doesn't get enough fiber or water and I'm a terrible mother. OK, she didn't say that last part but it was implied. How did I miss this? Since I don't have to wipe her butt anymore, I have to say that my observations about her regularity (or irregularity as the case might be) are solely based on making sure that she has toilet paper in her bathroom. But shouldn't I have noticed or asked or...something? Is it because I've been so busy trying to get it all together and working and exercising and being all things to all people? Am I bad mother?

Right on the heels of that Honey and I got the flu. Bad. He's been completely knocked out of commission this week, suddenly the partner that I rely on to help me juggle was out of the game. So I dropped all pretense of trying to do it all and concentrated on the basics - Shorty, food, school. Screw work (which I realize it a luxury most don't have) and exercise. Surely I could handle those few things, even with the flu myself -  I once worked/parented for 3 weeks with dengue fever for God's sake!! But all I can say is thank God for friends because they pitched in and helped to take care of Shorty so that we could mend. I guess that I can't do it all any more and that's hard for me to admit.

But as I sit here typing this post, I see pretty clearly that I don't have to do it all by myself anymore. I have a wonderful husband (who usually doesn't have the flu) and fantastic friends and an amazing daughter. I'm disappointed in myself for dropping so many balls, but I have the support structure to be able to pick them up again. And I guess that's the important thing for any mom who's going back to work - find those supporters, be they husband, family, or friends and let them help!

So this post started as one thing and during the very long, drawn out way has become something else. Find your support, allow yourself to appreciate it, and utilize it. And talk to your kids about their poop every day.

Managing HOME when you go back to work, or, what we can learn from Kramer v. Kramer

The other evening I had the rare privilege of sitting and watching an entire movie on TV without falling asleep half-way through.  The movie was Kramer v. Kramer which, everyone should know, stars a young Dustin Hoffman and absolutely beautiful Merryl Streep.  In a nutshell, it's about a couple with a young child going through a divorce in 70's.  I was blown away at not only the performances by the actors, but by how this movie reflects what any family goes through when there is a major change in the home.

The story goes something like this: A self-absorbed "bring home the bacon" man comes home from the office to find that his stay-at-home wife is leaving him and their child.  She is unfulfilled by being a stay-at-home mom, and needs to be more than a wife and a mother.  Fortunately, we don't have to divorce our husbands and leave our children in order to have a job and feel complete.

For most of the remainder of the movie, we see the father bumble through all of the childcare, household chores, and responsibilities that, until then, had been handled by the mother.  Many of us would probably like to see how our wonderful husbands would manage being the sole care-giver.  I have an enormous amount of respect for single moms and dads.  Here are some other revelations that I had:

We ALL expect our kids to be resilient to change, when in fact, they shouldn't be expected to just "buck up".  Deal with the attitudes and the temper tantrums with a little bit of patience, understanding, and love.  Everyone needs a little time to adjust to a major change, like mommy going back to work.

Dads, expect your children to test you!  This is part of the process of change that the kids will have to go through.  Even if they should know better, that was in the "old" world, and with a major change, you are now entering the "new" world.  Don't get mad, just stand your ground.

They even had those dreaded goody bags after birthday parties in the 70s!

Can you believe they bought milk in quarts back then?!  Today we buy everything in gallons or in bulk.  A quart wouldn't last a day in my house and I'd have to add another item on my TO DO list.  No thanks!  But, this is interesting on many levels... I will spare you the soapbox (today).

Poor dad had to go to a PTA meeting at the school at 4:00 (taking time from work) because it was his responsibility!  I know that this is one of the first things to be crossed off of the list when both parents work, but, (and here I will get on my soapbox) make sure that, when you go back to work, that one or both parents are still actively engaged in your child's school and education.  This should be as much of a priority as homework, or feeding your family nutritious meals.  I'm not saying to go out and overcommit and volunteer for everything.  Know your limits, of course.  But, studies show that parents who are involved in the education of their children (beyond homework) have children who take their education seriously.  Pass it on!

You're freaking amazing - be sure that they know it!!

The final post in our series on resumes, how to handle the holes and other pitfalls that cause us heartburn as we try to get back into the workplace. We feel that this post was the most important and also the thing that we're all least likely to do - so work on bragging!

Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What do you think is the biggest mistake that women make when writing/rewriting their resume?

Not taking full credit for all they bring to the table and not fully recognizing or appreciating their own worth or corporate value. Using “I’m just..,” or “I’ve only…” at the beginning of any sentence.

Women sometimes dismiss or internally diminish incredibly valuable skills and abilities, thinking they have less value, somehow, or mistakenly believing that openly recognizing their own value and worth equals arrogance.

Of all the times in your life where humility may pay, writing your résumé is not one of them.

Surely it hasn't been THAT long!? *@#!! I'm old!

This week we're continuing our focus on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, kick the cat, and consider a new career as a carny. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What about dates? Do I have to put the dates I received my degrees?

For employment, you don’t need to include months, you can just list years (i.e. 2005-2007), but you have to include dates.

For college degrees, you can omit dates in your résumé, but expect to provide this information at the interview or application process. Understand, too, that while your reader probably won’t give this too much thought, he or she is likely notice that the dates have been omitted.

The BIG Experiment!! Diane's Final Day!!

6:30-7:30  Wake up.  Let Wonderful Hubby know that it's time to get up.  Start coffee, wake kids.  Go take shower and get ready for 7:30 meeting at the school.  Upset to be missing another day of working out.  Decide to wear stretchy comfy jersey wrap dress.  Decide that dresses are the best!  Wonderful Hubby has gotten kids all ready to go to school.

7:30-8:15  Stop car and take kids into school.  Get stopped by principal in lobby who has questions about "very important stuff". Late to meeting.

8:15-2:30  Head to office.  Worried that I will not add value and sit there mute in the corner.  Meeting with client #1 goes very well.  Actually had valuable input!  Am amazed by my AMAZING friend and her abilities.  Office is fun and I like it.  Invited to join in meeting with client #2.  Call Mr. Wonderful to see if he can pick up the kids and a playdate after school.

2:30-3:00  Head home.  Drive like crazy person because I am running late.  Find that everyone has arrived home from school safely.  Kids are playing but have not had a snack.  Hubby is on iPhone.  Everyone survived.

3:30-4:00  Make appointment with vet for dog.  Feed snack to kids.  Loving the pre-packaged snack foods today.  Put kids on Wii.  Sit down to computer.  Check emails, blog about my day, which I have all forgotten by now.

4:30-6:00  Finally take dog to the vet.  Explanation for that terrible smell earlier in the week.  Feel really guilty that it has taken me this long to get the dog to the vet.  Wonderful Hubby takes kids to friends' house for dinner.

6:00-10:00  Drop off dog at home.  Feed dog.  Alone in my messy home.  Consider staying home all by myself, sigh...Grab all of the things that Wonderful Hubby has forgotten and head over to friends' house for dinner.  Enjoy house full of wonderful friends and a terrific dinner.  Extremely exhausted.  Head home with kids to go directly to bed.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200.  So tired I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

All in all the day was great.  Wonder how things would shake out if Wonderful Hubby wasn't there to pick up the kids, but figure we'll have to take each day one at a time.

The BIG Experiment!! Day Four by Diane

6:30-7:30 Wake up with small child in bed next to me. Wonderful Hubby calls. Make small child answer phone so that I don't have to get out of cozy bed. Happy there is smell of fresh coffee coming from kitchen. Get up and throw uniforms at children. Check email to see that I have another meeting this morning that I am unprepared for about "very important stuff", but throw papers in a bag and rush out the door.

7:30-8:15 Drop kids off barely slowing and rush back home to shower and prepare for presentation. Read email from enraged neighbor about "very important stuff". Put on LOTS of deodorant in preparation for presentation at school and subsequent meeting. Squeeze into terribly out of date clothing and rush back to school.

8:15-10:30 Have horrible presentation. Realize I am much better in small groups than in front of a crowd. Rush off to make 11:00 meeting. No workout today.

11:00-12:00 Meet with important people about "very important stuff". Worry that I'm not communicating my position on important stuff so that they hear what I am saying. Worry about performance when I go back to work.

12:00-2:30 Check emails, have string cheese. Sit down and actually do some work, finally. Schedule playdate for children. Feel like having a glass of wine. Have a glass of wine with lunch. (Hey, I'm a big girl, deal with it!) Return phone call. Have headache about "very important stuff"... or maybe it's the wine? Still have another hour to make goal of 3 1/2 hours of work/day.

2:30-3:45 Feed kids, help with homework, put dishes in dishwasher

3:45-7:45 Take kids to indoor play-gym with friends and then out to dinner. Kids have fun. Eat pizza for dinner, feel very guilty, but kids are happy. Get home, put them to bed. Find out I have to go in to "work" tomorrow, and can't work out, but Wonderful Hubby will be home to help me out in the morning.

7:45-8:00 Check emails, blog. I am exhausted and sore (shin splints from uphill walk yesterday). Would go to bed if it weren't only 8:00. Go to set up coffee maker for the morning. Accidentally brew coffee instead of programming it. Brain can no longer function. Think of staying in bed all weekend. Smile.

8:00-9:30 Fall asleep in front of TV.  Wake up when hubby comes home.  Go to bed exhausted.

My Mission Statement: To get a job.

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, put on the stretchy pants, and consider a new career in competitive eating. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

Is it absolutely necessary to have a mission statement? If so, how do you write a mission statement for your résumé (especially if your mission is to just get a job)?

First of all, never forget that your résumé is a marketing piece or that you’re writing your résumé for the sheer and complete benefit of your reader.

Imagine, for example, an ad for vacuum cleaners that begins with the statement, “We really need you to buy this vacuum cleaner so we can pay our electric bill.”

At this stage of the game, your reader doesn’t care what your hopes or aspirations may be. They simply want to know whether or not you’re qualified for the position and company you’re targeting, whether it’s in their interest to meet you, in person, to learn more, and how they may benefit by hiring you.

Later, at the interview stage, your needs and interests will become more important. But for now, it’s all about the reader.

So if you include a mission statement, or preferably a summary of qualifications section, keep the focus on what you bring to the table and how your skills, abilities and characteristics will benefit the company and meet its needs and expectations.

For example, a typical objective statement tends to focus more on what the candidate hopes to secure than what he or she brings to the table, but this can be altered by focusing on the reader’s interests:

“To secure the position of ________________________ at (Name of Company) where my skills in ______________________, _______________________ and _____________________ may best benefit (Name of Company)’s ____________________ goals and expectations.”

The BIG Experiment!! Day Two by Diane

6:30-6:45 Hit snooze button several times, wake up late

6:45-7:30 Find that wonderful hubby has done most of the laundry AND the dishes while I was in a coma last night! Wake up children who complain of stomach aches and cry about having to go to school. Check emails, try to drink coffee in between yelling at kids to get a move on.

7:35-7:45 Still in pjs, scramble into car and push kids out at carpool. Go back home. Planned to run this morning, but since it is raining, opt to stay in pjs and get to work. Sigh at the thought of having to workout on Saturday instead.

7:45-8:45 Look at presentation that I have to give this week and realize that I am SO not prepared! Anxiety runs amok and I decide to get ready for my 9:30 meeting (volunteer activity) instead.

9:30-11:00 PTA meeting.... get so much information and added to my to-do list for volunteerism.

11:00-noon Start going through all of the emails that have ended up in my in-box. Get caught up in it, send Kim a note that I am running late (gotta love technology)

12-12:45 Meeting with Kim at coffice very productive. Realize that I forgot to brush teeth this morning. Resolve to be better tomorrow. Go home and RUN mail to the mailman, who has decided to be kind and wait for me. Get upset at morons who can't do their jobs thoroughly and now have to make another phone call/write letter/send it in AGAIN.

1:00-2:15 Brush teeth. Eat. Blog. Determined to finish resume.

2:15-5:30  Kids come home and immediately ask what we are doing today.  Pout when I tell them "nothing".  After getting them settled with snacks and homework, pretty much ignore children.  Research and work on my resume.  Children interrupt on occasion, and I have a notedly short temper with them.  Resume working on my resume.  (remark that resume and resume are spelled the same, less the accent - I think it's time for a break!)  Youngest watching his 30 minutes of TV (turns into an hour).  Resolve to manage time better tomorrow for second time today.

5:30-6:00  Wonderful hubby is already preparing dinner.  Youngest upset that we couldn't go to Toys R Us today.  I set out to tackle the mount of folded laundry that covers the dining room table.  Enlist children to help, when I notice it's all MY stuff.  Put away laundry, have children set table, feed dog, etc.  Scan and email document to friend, return phone calls from friends.  File some of year's worth of bills so that I can finish taxes for accountant.

6:00-6:30  Sit down and enjoy wonderful dinner.  Food is so much better when someone else prepares it, don't you think?

6:30-7:00  Dishwasher still running (again!  this never used to happen!) so dishes are rinsed and left in sink for tomorrow.  Wonderful hubby irons his new shirt (?!)  I sit down to do more research and work on blog.  Kids playing Wii and don't interrupt.

7:00-7:30  Get kids ready for bed after tearing them away from Wii.

7:30-8:00  Write to-do list, check email. Panic about meeting tomorrow - more about fitting into my old business suits, which are probably VERY out of date, than the actual interview/meeting.  Panic about presentation on Thursday.  Resolve to take tomorrow one step at a time.  Have glass of wine to calm myself.

8:00-10:00 Exhausted and ready for bed, but somehow manage to watch film with subtitles in its entirety.  Overall an okay day.  I'll be better tomorrow!

"She said what?!?"

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, get loaded, and consider a new career as a rodeo clown. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

What are some key words should you include in your resume? What words should you avoid?

Include terms that are relevant to the field, position and industry you’re targeting and the positions you’ve held in the past. For example, an engineer should use the verb “engineer” (or “engineered”) somewhere in his or her document. A manager should be using the verb “manage” (or “managed”) when describing his or her work. And yet you’d be surprised how often this doesn’t happen. Other strong verb choices for someone in a leadership role include: Guide, Direct, Drive, and Lead, among others, and yet you’ll see résumés that have bullet point after bullet point leading with “Responsible for…”

When you’re writing your statements of responsibility, lead these statements with strong action verbs that show your reader your direct role and level of responsibility. Avoid phrases such as “Responsible for…” or “Duties included…” which dilute the strength of the statement.

Avoid words that feel inflated or are words you’d never use in your normal speech. When I read “Elevated Customer Satisfaction,” I wonder, “Would this person actually say “elevated” in an interview or any other situation describing his work?” Probably not.

Despite a variety of career related articles suggesting that phrases such as, “Proven record of achievement in…” or “Extensive experience in…” should be omitted from the résumé, I disagree. Include these kinds of declarations, but back them up with proof. If you have extensive experience in any area that’s vital to the position you’re targeting, it’s good to let the potential employer know this, but don’t stop there; tell the reader how this expertise will benefit him or her. Example:

“Extensive experience in brand building and market share. Consistently penetrate competitive target markets and increase revenue growth, even in challenging economic climates.”

Function versus Form?

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and consider a new career as a balloon animal engineer. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals

How do you organize a functional resume, as opposed to a chronological resume? Is that the best way to go?

A functional résumé is typically used by job candidates who:

• Have gaps in employment they want to hide.
• Wish to bring relevant, but possibly less utilized, skills to the forefront.
• Want to bypass titles which poorly reflect actual work responsibilities or accountability levels.
• Hope to change career paths and therefore want the reader to recognize transferable skills.

All of which are great reasons. The problem with using a functional format is that most hiring managers and HR directors know why candidates use functional résumés, too, and often will look for the very problems the candidate is trying so hard to hide.

A functional résumé is typically organized by skill groups or areas of expertise, with examples of these skills applied (but not where or when), followed by a brief outline of job titles, company names, locations and dates (without description). Example of order of information:

• Name
• Contact Information
• Summary of Qualifications (brief)
• Functional Headings (such as: Marketing, Management, Project Leadership, etc.) in the order of their value and relevance to the position and company being targeted – with bulleted details showing these skills applied, and including the results of the candidate’s efforts and contributions
• Employment History (in reverse chronological format, with little or no detail)
• Education
• Relevant Professional Associations (optional)
• Community Service (optional)

The BIG Experiment!! Day One by Diane

6:30-7:30 Getting kids ready for school:  Went generally well for a Monday.  Reconsidering the chores assigned to children.

7:30-7:45 Slowed down, Opened car door= pushed them out

7:45-9:00 By some small miracle traffic was slight for a Monday. Had great work out, feel good!

9:00-9:45 I am clean and pretty.  Wonder what will happen when I have to wear something besides jeans and slippers, however.

9:45-11:30 Sit down in home office.  Odd smell in seldom used room.  Resist urge to investigate.  Resist urge to answer emails.  Post blog.  Read blogs.  Resist urge to look at emails.  Work on resume.  Hubby comes by to see what I am up to.  Response: "Working"

11:30  Finally succumb to incessant chiming of emails.  ACK!  Email from hubby (who works in the other room, no less) to check out some $10 socks he wants to buy.  Resist urge to scream.

11:35  Back to work on resume.  Research resume writing tips.

12:00  Hubby comes by to see what I am doing.  Response: "Working"

12:10  Hubby comes by to ask if he can make me a sandwich.  How nice- good husband.

12:15-1:15  Continue to work on resume and research.  Still wondering about that smell...

1:15-2:15  Proud of myself, actually did answer all of my PTA emails and worked on volunteer activities!

2:15-4:30  Was worried about this part of the day.  Fortunately, hubby helped son with homework and I continued to clean around the house, including finding and cleaning source of strange smell.  Got one load of laundry folded while children put their clothes away, and managed to return a phone call and some emails, most of which were volunteer related (so much for sticking to one hour).

4:30-4:40  Forgot to pay a bill due tomorrow.  Thank goodness for online banking.

5:00-6:15  Wonderful hubby prepares meatloaf while I fold laundry and order children to put it away.  Remind children of their chore responsibilities while making potatoes, salad and green beans to go with aforementioned meatloaf.  Play words with friends while cooking.  Pour glass of wine.

6:15-7:30  Clean up while wonderful hubby bathes kids.  Unfortunately the dishwasher is still running, so rinse dishes and pile in sink.  Wonder if I will get to them tonight, or wait until the morning.  Program coffee maker (bonus!) for early start.  Another load of laundry done. Pour second glass of wine

7:30-8:00  Read kids a book, worry that 5 year old will never read because his mommy never reads to him.  Check email and I have an interview on Wednesday!  Wow... then the panic sets in...ah, hell, lets have another glass of wine!   Make to-do list for tomorrow (finish resume!)

8:00- 10:00 Wow, today wasn't so bad.  I'm thinking that this might be do-able.  I still have laundry piled in the hallway, my bed isn't made, and the dishes are still in the sink, but feel I have accomplished more than I expected.  Then again... tomorrow is another day!

There are HOLES in this resume!!

This week we are focusing on resumes, with special attention to the areas that make us want to pull our hair out, crawl back into bed, and consider a career in origami. Our guest blogger for this series is Sue Campbell, 1st-Writer.com, a professional resume writer and career strategist with over 18 years experience helping job seekers of every level achieve their career goals.

How do you cover the "holes" in your resume for the time that you were out of the workforce?

Rather than trying to hide gaps in your résumé, fill them, instead.

If you haven’t been spending any of this time in self-improvement, it’s not too late to add a layer of current activity to your résumé through volunteer work or education.

Actively employed candidates will always be viewed as “more hirable” by hiring managers. And candidates with recent experience will appear more “current.” However, if you’re reentering the workplace after a significant time away, you can give the same impression of being current by showing recent activity in areas deemed relevant or valuable to the types of positions and companies you’re currently targeting.

First, determine what skills, abilities and characteristics (personal and professional) the potential employer is trying to secure in potential candidates. This information is usually obtained via job ads, recruiters or company research.

Next, consider in what ways you’ve actively applied these skills in the recent past. Consider personality characteristics along with applied skills and technical abilities, such as communication, problem-solving, time management and resource allocation skills.

Create a summary section that focuses on that which you bring to the table – TODAY – in relevant skills, abilities and characteristics, and then show the reader your most recent application of these skills – even if this was through a continuing education course (leading with your education) or via non-paid community service – early in your document.

The what, where and when is always going to be important – but what really matters is what you CAN DO, and how what you can do –your efforts and contributions – will benefit a potential employer.

The BIG Experiment!!

We've all been reading about Gwynnie's taxing daily schedule as a working mom, so we have busy schedules on the brain. In preparing the family, and yourself, for returning to work, Kim and I thought that it might be fun(ny) to have a sort-of trial run on how things might operate with mommy going back to work. Going off of the premise that if you're currently looking for work OR if you're starting a home business (as we are), there's a certain amount of time that you'll have to dedicate to the effort, we came up with the following schedule. (When we start working full time, there will be a WHOLE new schedule complete with a Survival Guide for our husbands.) For this whole week though, we are going to follow the schedule below to a T and report on how our kids, husbands, and selves fare as well as any casualties (I'm telling you right now that I don't see laundry pulling through!):

6:30-7:20 am Get up and get the kids ready for school/get mommy ready for the gym

7:30-7:45 am Slow down the car and push the kids out the door at school

8:00-9:00 am Go to the gym/workout - this is essential to plan into your day for your own well-being (so that you aren't sobbing as you try to squeeze into that business suit from pre-baby days)! Do it!!

9:00-9:45 am Home from the gym to shower (conditioning hair while stretching muscles a la Mrs. Rock-star's wife and movie star mom)

9:45-1:15 pm WORK: work on blog, work on networking, work on resume! 3 1/2 hours - DO NOT MULTI-TASK! - no house cleaning, laundry, errand running - only working!)

1:15-2:15 pm Volunteer activities and being involved at school (or whatever you are passionate about)

2:15-5:15 pm Kids are home from school: help with homework, fix healthy snacks (or throw goldfish at them), have playdates, extra-curricular activities, etc. Try to engage the kids... try not to play words with friends... resist urge to allow children to watch hours of TV.

5:30-6:00 pm Fix dinner (see our "For Meals on the Fly" on the sidebar or just have the local fishmonger deliver as GOOP suggests)

6:00-6:30 pm Eat dinner together as a family (pour first glass of wine)

6:30-7:30 pm Clean up and get the kids ready for bed (pour second glass of wine while children are bathing)

7:30-8:00 pm Check emails (make sure there aren't any important messages) and make To-Do list for following day

8:00-10:00 pm Grown-up time. Whether it's Couple-time, Friend-time, or Me-time - make sure to schedule at least one night of each this week!

10:00 pm Bedtime

Notice that we haven't built in specific time slots for house clean-up, laundry, errands, grocery shopping, dishwasher emptying...yep, we're curious to see how that's going to shake out too - husbands, maybe?

Anyone else out there ready to take the challenge with us??!!

Snow Days

As many of you know, the East Coast is stuck in a huge "weather" situation.  Being in Atlanta, this is extremely difficult, as we are not used to snow and ice, and the whole city sort of shuts down.  We have now been stuck home for 3 days, school cancelled, meetings postponed, appointments re-scheduled.  While the kids and I have had a great time playing in the snow, sledding, and snuggling next to the fire, I am ready for them to go back to school!  I have things to do!!

So, tell me, what do you do, when you can't do your absolute best?  When the inclement weather makes you miss a deadline, or keeps you out of the office?  Do you just apologize and move on?  I spoke with one of my friends, a working mom, who has also been stuck at home, missing work, playing in the snow with her kids and not getting anything done.  She hasn't been into the office all week, but neither has anyone else.  This, she says, helps her to reconcile the guilty feelings.  She is also one of the only people I know who does not have a work issued laptop computer.  (wonder if she'll get one after this snow-storm?!)

But, what happens when you're the only one who is missing the deadlines, meetings, and work, due to a sick child or other child-related responsibility?  In a discussion that I recently had with several of my married, working mommy friends, they said that this responsibility usually falls to them, and NOT their spouses.  Their husbands just say, "Sorry, I have to work".  Hmmm... definitely something to think about, and probably something to discuss with the husband before going back to work....

"Step away from the cabinets, Ma'am!" by Kim

Diane's post brought back the agony that I went through when I had to redo my resume this past summer - by the time that it was all said and done I think that the whole thing took me well over a month. My previous resume was LONG gone on the hard drive of a long gone computer; fortunately the resume that landed me the life-changing job in Asia had been written by Sue Campbell, a wonderful resume writer who is infinitely more organized than I. I asked her to email me a copy and *poof*, there it was in my inbox. I opened it, looked at it, closed it and went to clean out my bathroom cabinets. :)

A couple of days (weeks) went by and I opened it again and started the process of adding the past 3 years of experience. But even with a model right in front of me (of my own resume no less), I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes without getting frustrated and walking away from it. Finally, with input from Husband, family, and friends I had enough *stuff* to fill out the questionnaire that Sue had sent me and quickly dropped it back in her lap to make me sound fabulous!

All told it took me about a month to get to that point - it's silly as I sit here thinking about it now but the paralyzation was vividly, painfully real at the time and now it's time to update it again, sigh. Writing this blog and getting to talk with all sorts of other women facing similar challenges has been incredibly cathartic for me - it's great to know I'm not alone, I mean I'm sorry for them and all but....you know what I mean.

We'll be talking with Sue this week to get some input and practical advice for rewriting, recreating, or just freshening up your resume. In the meantime, if you want to start some forward momentum or can't stand the idea of cleaning out those bathroom cabinets again, here are a couple ideas to get you moving:

1. Start small - just a rough list of all of your personal qualities (both good and "challenging") that you can think of. Don't forget to incorporate the items from your career in MomWorld that Diane identified in "Thoughts for the Interview". Now...ask husbands, friends, family members - only people who will be honest but not brutal. Live with your list for a couple of days - add to it but don't take anything off, we tend to edit ourselves way too much. It's your opportunity to brag, do it!

2. At the same time, especially if you're starting from scratch, start working on a VERY simple timeline of your career - dates, places, titles. It seems excessively easy but after a couple of years at home, I'm lucky if I can recall what I had for dinner last Tuesday, much less where I was and what I was doing in 1998.

3. Once you've identified the places/times that you worked, start sketching out the details of the jobs and responsibilities that you held while there. Again, this is the very simple 65,000 foot view of things, the bare bones.

Our expert, Sue Campbell of 1st-Writer, will give us some pointers on how to get from here to there later in the week, so we can start to pull all of this together.

We're going to do this together in baby steps, so....get off your ass, leave those cabinets alone, and get started!

New Years Resolution #1 - write resume!

Well, it's a brand new year! The holidays have passed and we moms can get cracking on that job search! A week ago, I spoke to a friend of mine about my past career-life. I told her about what I did and how I did it and then she asked if I would be interested in doing some consulting work for her company. Sure! I thought, just what I need! Then, the other shoe dropped... she asked me for my resume... YIKES! Resume? What resume??

Procrastination, my current bff...

For many of you already out there and ahead of me on the job search, resume writing was a daunting task. But, when you have had at least 3 different computers over the last 8 years and haven't bothered to save your resume file, let alone update your resume every year or so, the task is down-right overwhelming! It is one of the things easily shoved in the back of a drawer somewhere, with the thought that you'll eventually get back to it... I'd rather clean out my bathroom cabinets than work on my resume! I have now been avoiding my friend, with a paying job for ME, for a week!!

Why on earth is this such a difficult thing to do?! Maybe it is because it is so hard for most women to brag about themselves? Maybe it is because it takes focused thought that most of us don't have time for (but need to make time for)? Maybe it is because all of my pre-child memories leaked out of my brain during the birthing process??

Sure you can hire a resume writer, or download a resume template, but you still have to THINK about what to put on your resume. And what happens when you can't remember what it is that you used to do, or for whom you used to work??

I'm looking for tips??? Anyone??? Please comment with any helpful suggestions!

Well, at least I have a very neatly organized bathroom!