The BIG Experiment!! Day Three by Diane

4:38 am  Wonderful Hubby wakes me up with his snoring.  This is a recurring theme in our household.  Move to spare bedroom.  Spend half hour worrying about interview.  Fall back to sleep.

6:25 am  Woken by small dog who wants food.  Wonderful Hubby comes to wake me up as well, since my alarm has gone off, and then goes to wake the kids.  I am grateful for having prepared the coffee to start automatically.

6:30-7:30 Take out recycling, drip stale beer down my shoulder.  Not going to ruin my mood, however. Got the kids out the door on time and with most of their morning chores completed!  Even stopped the car before pushing them out at school!

7:30-8:45 Have a walk with Kim.  Good discussions of why our hubbies are helping out MORE than usual this week.  BOTH husbands have pointed out that they'd do whatever around the house, we only had to ask.  Strangely enough, we haven't had to ask them to do anything so far this week, they've just seen something needing to be done and done it.  Think the blog is great in more ways than one!  Got a bit lost and had to use the iPhone to find our way back to our cars.

8:45-9:30 Yikes!  Gotta hustle to shower and prepare for interview.  Try on aforementioned out of date suit.  Marvel that it still fits (see that scheduled exercise really pays off!) and looks okay.  It is a bit uncomfortable because it has a waistline that goes over the navel, and I have been wearing low-rise pants for the last 5 years, but, with the jacket on, no one will know but me!

10:00-11:00 Meet with a wonderful friend who has a need for some part-time contract work.  (It really is all about who you know!)  Work out a win/win for both of us.  If CFO agrees, I start next week!  Really great company with bright engaging professionals.  Got to use big words!  Head home, starting to really HATE suit and want to pull an Al Bundy.

11:00-1:15  Voicemail from teacher who says son might have pink eye.  Ignore it.  They'll call again if they need to send him home.  Panic about what happens now that Wonderful Hubby is traveling.  Emails from volunteers in a panic.  Get home, want a stiff drink, settle for what's left of the coffee, RIP off evil suit and throw it into a pile - climb into comfy jeans and slouchy sweater.  Sit down to work.

1:45-3:00  Realize that I forgot that I'd help out at kids' school and hustle out the door so that they don't wind up riding the bus home to find that I'm not.  Have kids do homework while volunteering.

3:30-5:00  Take kids to Toys R Us.  Need birthday gifts, and kids are dying to spend gift cards.  Curse gift cards given by well-meaning family members.  Tell kids only 1/2 an hour.  1 and 1/2 hours later, leave store.

5:30-7:00 Yay! Awesome brother comes to rescue and grabs kids for dinner.  Work on volunteer projects in peace.  Have glass of wine!  Forget to make to-do list for tomorrow.  Remark that I need to 1. take dog to the vet, 2. take car in for repair, 3. am almost out of milk.  Wonder when the heck I'm going to do that!?

7:00-9:00 Friend time!  Enjoy get-together at friend's.  Feel connected with other women/mommies.

9:00-10:00 pick up sleeping kids from Awesome Brother's and try to sneak them into bed before they wake up too much.  Have LONG conversation with emotional (and tired)7 year old. Realize I have only had string cheese, coffee, and wine to eat today.  Have another glass of wine, eat frozen dinner and a bunch of potato chips while catching up on DVR TV(so much for that workout).  Feel guilty, throw away bag of chips.

For the most part, this was a good fulfilling day.  Didn't spend enough time with children, which seems to show.  Plan on making up for that tomorrow!

The BIG Experiment Day 3 by Kim

6:30-7:20 Crawl out of bed and Shorty is already up - she's definitely a morning person unlike her old mom. Try to see if it's raining as Di and I text back and forth to see if we can walk. Decide to suck it up and do it - this is why having a workout buddy is so effective, no one wants to be the first to puss out. Drop Shorty at school after a breakfast of Rice Krispies over which we discuss why the milk should be put on before the sugar.

7:30 - 8:40 Walk with Di. It ends up being longer than we planned since we managed to get ourselves lost in the neighborhood. Wonder if maybe we should change our tagline. :)

8:45-10:57 Take out the recycling and chat with Honey about what our days look like. Sit down to finish and post The BIG Experiment Day 2. Answer emails about a project I'm currently managing and remember that I need to invoice them so I can get paid! Contemplate folding the laundry. Send Di a good luck text about her interview today!!!

10:58-12:30 Friends pick me up to grab a quick lunch. No one has showered yet so we take a table in the corner.

12:30-1:45 Work on a seminar presentation that's coming up in February - is closer than I realized.

1:45-2:15 Shower and contemplate folding the laundry.

2:15-4:15 Grocery store, enroll Shorty in the tumbling class, Trader Joes, and B12 shot, finish all errands with about 20 minutes until time to pick up kids, so crank up the music and just drive around singing and being blissfully alone. Wave sheepishly at the cars next to me who notice me singing.

4:30-5:30 Pick Shorty and La up at their after school program. Drop La off at home and go in for a quick glass of wine and some conversation.

5:45-6:00 Bring in groceries, kiss Honey, change shoes.

6:00-11:30 Go to a movie and dinner with girlfriends. Honey and Shorty seem happy to have me out and are able to hold down the fort without me. Reflect on how lucky I am.

11:45-12:15 Answer some design questions that have come up with a project in the Central time zone with a brief phone call.

12:30 BED!!!

Again, not so great with the actual schedule...BUT still hit my goal of the tasks that I wanted to accomplish , the number of hours I wanted to dedicate, and getting in the workout. Laundry is still being contemplated, maybe tomorrow, which will also include additional home stuff - like cooking dinner and some clean up since Honey carried the bulk of it today (but I'm pretty sure that he'll still clean up the kitchen for me!).

As much as I like to think I'm pretty disciplined, this experiment is teaching me the wisdom of clearly defining tasks and carving out the time to complete them. As well as making me notice how much time the little stuff can suck up if you don't group it together and actively limit the time you spend on it.

The BIG Experiment Day 2 by Kim

5:45 - 6:20 Curse as the alarm goes off but drag my ass out of bed. Get 4 layers of clothes on, eat a piece of PB toast, and head out the door to meet a friend for a workout.

6:25 Curse as the first raindrops hit my windshield pulling up in front of her house.

6:30-7:30 Walk and talk and walk and talk. It's what I needed - both the exercise and the camaraderie. Who cares if I'm looking like a drowned muskrat (no, I don't know what a muskrat looks like either but you know what I mean).

7:30 - 8:15 Hubby (from here forward to be known as Honey except when I'm ticked and then it'll be @#!Honey) took Shorty to school so I take the trash out, pour a cup of coffee and finish then post The BIG Experiment Day 1). Answer a couple of emails and make a list for the day.

8:15 - 9:30 Take Honey to get allergy shots. *He's allergic to cats (plus everything else - the man should live in a bubble!) and Shorty and I moved here from Thailand with 2 cats and then adopted a kitten a couple of months ago. The kitten pushed him over the allergy cliff he was perched on so we had to do something. Since he opted to get the allergy shots from the start and never even entertained the idea of getting rid of the cats, I feel like the least I can do is go along with him. Update our twitter and facebook feeds while I'm waiting. Swing by Fresh Market on the way home so there's actual food in the house that we want to eat.

9:30-11:00 Work on posts, read a couple of other blogs that I follow to be caught up, read through some business sites and journals to find future Post ideas. Still ignoring kitchen. Double fisting Diet Dr. Pepper and coffee...starting to twitch.

11:00-11:45 Have a meeting with Di and our graphics person today at 12:00 at the coffice, so a shower is necessary.

12:00-12:45 Meet with Di and Helen - make huge strides in nailing down a logo. It's pretty cool - we're almost legit. Di and I reflect that with the spotlight upon them both of our already helpful husbands have stepped it up into SuperHusband territory...contemplate a recurring piece on this topic....

12:45 - 1:00 Pick up the drycleaning, drive it home and haul all 900 lbs upstairs to the closet. Wonder how long it's been since one of us picked it up...

1:00 - 2:10 Researching other blogs/websites that operate in the same arena that we do - both inspired and intimidated.

2:30-4:15 Picked Shorty up from school and came home. Managed a healthy snack of smoothies and hummus - yay me!

*For people (like me) who are incapable of keeping fresh fruit alive and edible, the Yoplait packaged smoothies are AWESOME - the berries are already portioned out and it has frozen chunks of vanilla yogurt in it. (Disclosure: Yoplait has never heard of me and isn't paying me to endorse their product, however should they decide they want to I wouldn't say no.)

Then homework - more fractions...did we do fractions in 2nd grade? It seems that it was much later....

I cleaned up the kitchen and sat down to try and find a gymnastics program for Shorty since I didn't get it all together to get extracurricular activities planned for her once the cheerleading season ended. Found one but am going to have to go by tomorrow to register since their website doesn't allow for that...that's obnoxious.

4:15-5:15 Veg with Shorty. Contemplate folding laundry.

5:15 - 6:30 Go out for dinner. Try Ethiopian for the first time - it's awesome!! Not sure which one us has the most fun eating with our hands.

6:30-8:00 Contemplate folding laundry especially since Honey has kept it running all day and it's now done. But instead flop on the couch and watch the end of a DVR'd movie as a family. Recall at 8:00 that I'm not sure when Shorty had a shower last but it's too late to do anything about that now as she's got to go to bed.

8:00-8:15 Receive (and answer) some complimentary emails about the blog, marvel at the fact that one of the founders of iRelaunch has become a twitter follower (how cool is that!) and put together my To-Do list for Wednesday.

8:15 - 10:30 Contemplate folding the laundry. Watch a movie with Honey and have a glass of wine (or 2)

11:00 Bed and to sleep

Again, the thing that I noticed the most about today is that by stating that I had to dedicate a set amount of time to work/family/self I was able to meet my goal. I didn't follow the schedule to a T as promised, but I did get all the important stuff in - including both a workout and work. I also am much more aware of grouping errands along with times that I'm already out, as opposed to making multiple trips, which has me feeling less frazzled. And I even showered! Feeling like a bit of a badass!

The BIG Experiment!! Day 1 by Kim

6:30-7:30 Hit snooze until 6:40 but fortunately Shorty is a better morning person than her mom - so smooth sailing for a Monday morning.

7:30-7:45 Slowed down and she remembered to tuck and roll!

7:45-9:00 Didn't make the workout as I was obsessing about the huge amount of crap that I had to do. Hubby gets all chatty while I'm typing but after a few grunted responses asks if I want to be left alone.

9:00-9:45 Still wearing the pj, yoga pant, hoodie combo that I pulled on when I got out of bed. Soooo pretty. But have whittled down my to-do list enough that I'm able to see the rest of my week being ok which feels like a decent trade off.

9:45-11:30 Have gotten SO much done! Only played words with friends twice and danced with the cat once...not too shabby!

11:30 Made some lunch and walked past all the dishes still in the sink where they were left by unnamed family members. Maybe they will put themselves into the dishwasher...

11:35 Chuckle at Diane's husbands' quest for $10 socks and marvel at her restraint. Thank Hubby for picking up prescription and feel slightly bad that I didn't wait to have lunch with him.

11:45 Back to work. Edited seminar materials, posted the resume blog entry, paid bills, and did some more research.

1:15 Decide that today I'm going to "volunteer" to shower and the "passion" that I'm going to focus on is making myself generally presentable. Feeling like a scrub, albeit an extremely productive scrub.

So my following of the schedule this morning wasn't too great, seeing as I didn't get the workout or the shower in - but tomorrow is another day! And I'm feeling pretty optimistic about this afternoon...

2:20 Got Shorty picked up and ran to Walgreens. Now she's putting her clothes away while I peck away on this and then it'll be time for homework. Fractions today - it's a little disconcerting when you're apprehensive about 2nd grade homework but she still believes I know everything. Do you remember fractions...I don't!

2:30 - 4:30 Shorty does homework and I putter around in the house, nothing especially constructive. Hubby loads the dishwasher and starts it. :)

5:30 Realize that I bought flounder instead of ANY other type of fish plus it's been a couple of days so it's a bit sketchy. Hubby cooks flounder and squash while I make a chimichurri sauce to disguise flounder. Comes out of oven - blech, not eating it!

6:30 Make spaghetti. Laugh about disgusting flounder as a family.

8:00 Shorty to bed and Hubby and I watch House.

9:30 BED!!!

10:30 To sleep.

The thing that made the most impact on me today is that if I block out the time to work and have the discipline to stick to that schedule, I get so much more accomplished and feel better about myself (and things in general) at the end of the day. I was disappointed that I didn't get a work out in but have to really work at making that a non-negotiable priority, hence I'm walking with a friend at 6:30AM tomorrow. I also will remember that I don't like sketchy flounder.

Trying to Live the Life I know...by Kim

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It's not only drug-addled 19th century authors - I tend to start many of my days with a completely unrealistic expectation of how the day will unfold. It's especially true around New Years as those nagging resolutions start creeping into my brain. The things that I SHOULD, and every year DO, resolve to do: lose weight, eat healthier, not yell at my husband, clean the kitty litter out without cursing, wake up early each morning for some meditation time, be punctual, stop procrastinating, quit cursing so much, be a perfect mother, wife and friend, be successful at my job and balance it perfectly with everything else, shower everyday....see I'm already way past 6.

So I've decided that I'm going to try to live 2011 based on the things that I know, not believe, but know.

I know that if I fit some exercise in at least a couple times a week I will feel better, more centered and productive, more confident, and be less likely to yell at my husband.

I know that if I get up when the alarm goes off, instead of hitting the snooze button like a pinata, that getting the day started and my daughter off to school will be far more pleasant for everyone AND I won't spend the day feeling guilty that I yelled at her on the way out the door.

I know that if I set manageable goals for the work that I want to accomplish and then follow through that I won't lay awake obsessing about all the things that are undone.

I know that if I don't lay awake obsessing and actually get some sleep that it's more likely I won't yell at my husband.

I know that if I treat my friends and family the way I would like them to treat me, we'll all be ok and know that we are loved.

I know that I will never stop cursing, or enjoy changing the kitty litter, or start meditating, but I'm going to give punctuality another shot.

I know that I recently discovered dry shampoo for a reason and that showering everyday is overrated and probably bad for your skin.

It's not a perfect plan and I'm certain that I will fall short occasionally but I believe that by focusing on the things that I know - achieving the things that I want will be the natural result.

And it's after breakfast so I know this is possible!

Losing Confidence (and finding it again)

So I know that I promised a follow up story about THE INTERVIEW, but it's just too humiliating to recount...suffice it to say that the formidable, confident, well-spoken woman who had managed huge projects and earned millions of dollars for my respective employers totally deserted me. In her place was a sweating, stumbling, inarticulate mess and as I watched myself in a sort of out of body experience I wondered "what happened?"

A few years of being out of my industry had left me unable to converse about it and more importantly I'd lost the confidence, once an intrinsic part of my personality, that enabled me to sell myself, my talent, and even to spin my challenges into benefits for a prospective employer. And the farther I bumbled along through the interview, the worse it got and the further my confidence sank.

That experience was a massive blow to my belief in my ability to get back into my industry, or really into the work place at all. It stayed with me for quite a while and as a result I tabled my job search.

Sitting here and being able to look at it with the perspective of a bit of distance, I can say that I haven't lost that woman or her abilities - all that I lost was the self-confidence that propelled me in all the endeavors that I have ever decided to undertake.

I can't pinpoint when I regained that confidence again. It could have been reviewing my resume and realizing all that I had accomplished or reminding myself that although I haven't been in the office I've accomplished a hell of a lot at home and in my life during this time. It was in no small measure to the cheerleading of my husband - he's never doubted me, nor has my daughter. It's probably all of that and some stuff I can't even name - but regardless, it's back and it's been tempered with a little humility now.

I can't tell anyone else how to regain that drive, sparkle, cockiness, and complete confidence in her abilities but I would suggest that it hasn't gone away - it's just hiding, waiting for you to remember that this time away from the workplace has only made you better, stronger, more able to multitask and be empathetic. Diane's post perfectly describes the qualities that SAH moms have gained in our time away from the workplace - but they do not define us, they simply are additions to the fierce women that we were before.

All that being said, when you are ready to get back into the fray and start interviewing, a little preparation goes a LONG way in reducing the sweat factor! I found the below link today - it provides real interview questions and responses from a HUGE array of industries - it's too varied to be useful for rote memorization and boilerplate Q&A but it'll remind you of the lingo, the tightrope walk and the language of your industry or industries that you might want to explore.

http://www.consultingcase101.com

I'm now able to remember who I was but more importantly I can celebrate who I am.