Hi everyone!
So, it's been quite awhile since I have posted, and I am here to report that it is not for lack of intent! Here is what happened:
I was sitting around having cocktails with a bunch of girlfriends one evening, talking about how I'd like to re-enter the workforce, and how, although it presented some challenges (ie: resume writing, child care issues, "what the heck I want to do with my life", etc.) I was gung ho and ready! My wonderful friend, who is the head of her company, not in title or responsibility, but in spirit, suggested that I come in and work a couple hours a day, a couple days a week, for minimal pay, at her company to get something current on my resume. I found out that she is like the hero of the working woman, the one who rescues those who have lost their jobs, or are unhappy in their current employment state. She is currently helping at least 3 other people pull together their resumes!
She is also CRAZY! Not crazy in the unbalanced, need a straight jacket sort of way (although she might think otherwise), but she has endless amounts of energy, which she doles out to her job, her family, and, as you will see, her friends! This is the superwoman who will catch you in the tornado of her excitement, and you will want to let go and be carried away.
So, I agreed to go to work with her, at her company - she had to talk the owner and the accounting people into it, and I am sure, at first, that they were like, "what sort of lunatic is this, and why is she here"?! After the first week of part-time, basic work (read: research, filing, etc.), they were asking me to work everyday, part-time. I gladly accepted, even though I was referred to as "little buddy" and no one was still quite sure about how I fit into their organization.
After another week or so, again, I was asked to step it up to full-time, temporarily - big projects... etc. And I, like any person with a work ethic was willing to go the extra mile to make sure that the company was being supported (just as I had done before I had kids). I did, however, have to make some changes at home:
- Had to get wonderful hubby to take on many household responsibilities
- Had to figure out child care after school for my kids on a regular basis
I missed (or was late to) dinners with my friends on friday evenings, PTA meetings, homework went unchecked, laundry and housework went undone (one day I actually wore to work not one single article of clothing that had been cleaned between wearings!) I did not watch a single TV program during which I did not fall asleep. My kids became cranky (more on that later), my husband became cranky, my friends missed me, and I am sure that the PTA was cranky about my lack of upholding my responsibilities.
Of course, I am sure that this crankiness was all because everyone on the other side viewed my "job" as temporary, one that would end one day, and I would return to the world of the stay-at-home mom. Even I, at one point, missed my kids, my family, and my friends, and wondered why the heck I was doing this!
However, the pinnacle of my temporary position was just last week. I had the opportunity to see all of my hard work, and that of everyone else working on that project, come together. Coming back from that business trip, I felt like a rock star! We were brilliant, and amazing, quick-thinking and creative. It was an incredible feeling, that I have to say, I rarely, if ever get from being a stay-at-home mom. Sure, it has its triumphs, but people aren't kidding when they say that being a mom is a thankless job.
So, where does that leave me now... confused, divided, yearning... Part of me wishes to come back home and be with my kids, and part of me (now that I've gotten used to it) really wants to continue to be the rock star... the question is, which one do I want more?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Don't Blink by Kim
Here we are 3 weeks after my last post and I'm not entirely sure what's happened. Di's been absolutely swamped with the projects that she's been working on. Her previous post vividly describes the challenges that she's been facing, as well as the validation that comes from being someone outside of wife/mom. And me? Well, I've been co-chairing the Spring Book Fair: "Carnival - Your ticket to read!" dontcha know. Book Fair essentially sends me down the rabbit hole for a solid 2 weeks and makes me long for the days where it was socially acceptable to start drinking at lunch (breakfast) and continue through the dinner hour. But we managed to get together for lunch last Friday and it was a rapid fire exchange as we crammed 3 weeks of news, laughter and commiseration into an hour and a half - it was AWESOME!
In my last post, I was weighing a couple possible job/career possibilities and needing to pick a direction. After several conversations with Honey, we decided to add an Operations Program Manager (that's me!) to The Sublime Group. Basically, we're going to tag team at companies that are looking to streamline, troubleshoot, and improve the relationship between Procurement and Operations. On paper it will allow us to:
1. Provide a client with a more fully integrated solution to Production issues since both are crucial to process improvement and overall success. (Look at me using the "Business speak" already...it's like I never left)
2. Provide me with the opportunity to put on my Career Hat (thus ending the existential / identity crisis that I've been having since quitting work).
3. Provide a way to manage at home so that Shorty's life isn't greatly affected by the change (thus alleviating some of the guilt I feel about getting back to work. Some.).
As I sit here, gloriously optimistic, I see a way to have my cake and eat it too. Time will tell, but irregardless, it's a step closer towards the balance of life that I've been looking for.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tips for Leaving the Nest
Congratulations Kim!! I too have been out of the blogging loop for awhile, so much so as I forgot my login and password! As you mentioned, because I took a temporary contract position. I have learned so much from my experience to share with everyone thinking of going back to work, after being a stay-at-home mom for so long. Here's my story:
A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work. I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc. I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband. She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".
TIP #1: Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know. Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!
So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer. Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning. Perfect! I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project. It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!
TIP #2: Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay. If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)
After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client. I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility. Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home. No problem.
TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!
I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids. Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home. I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s. A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs. Now, I am swamped. Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.
TIP #4: Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more
The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future. How can I refuse?! I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby. Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary. I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary. Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care. Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep. I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining. Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.
TIP #5: There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.
So, what have I learned through this "project"? I have learned a bunch! I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids. The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired). I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life. Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach. (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy) There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office. These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.
So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us! It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:
A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work. I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc. I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband. She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".
TIP #1: Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know. Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!
So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer. Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning. Perfect! I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project. It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!
TIP #2: Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay. If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)
After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client. I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility. Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home. No problem.
TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!
I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids. Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home. I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s. A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs. Now, I am swamped. Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.
TIP #4: Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more
The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future. How can I refuse?! I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby. Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary. I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary. Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care. Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep. I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining. Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.
TIP #5: There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.
So, what have I learned through this "project"? I have learned a bunch! I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids. The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired). I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life. Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach. (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy) There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office. These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.
So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us! It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:
Friday, March 4, 2011
It's time to leave the nest (again) by Kim
Recently I was approached by a colleague whom I worked with in my prior life. He's tired of working for the man and has a great idea for starting up a new company - he just needs someone to market it (that would be me) and help provide a non-engineering view of how to structure and package it (also me). We met last weekend and I'm not going to lie - I'm pretty excited about the potential. I'm also surprisingly giddy at the prospect of getting in front of customers and doing what I'm pretty damn good at. Not to mention it would feel pretty stinking good to truly contribute financially to our household.
Then, while discussing this with Honey, he got a somewhat hurt expression and says "well if you're going to go out and market in the industry, I'd rather you sell for me" - (amazing what a little competition will do). Of course this leads to the question of whether we could work effectively together....but that's another blog post.
And so I've been obsessively contemplating what it is that I want to do now. Di's had a great opportunity to get back into the work place over the past months - and while there have definitely been challenges- it appears that she's thoroughly enjoying reestablishing that part of herself that isn't wife or mom and I'll admit it, I'm envious of that. Don't get me wrong, I've got a great life and I love the flexibility that I now have to try things out but at a certain point I'm just spinning my wheels - it's time for me to put on my big girl pants and fully commit to a course of action! So I'll be making lists, looking at the family logistics and weighing various possibilities over the weekend but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be opting for the opportunities that get me out of the home office and back in front of clients...stay tuned.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Dropping the Ball(s)
I have to apologize. I've been gone, absent, MIA, and AWOL for the past 2 weeks. As good as I get at juggling, there are times that life just kicks the crap out of me while I'm looking the other way. Since the holiday break that closely followed by The Great Blizzard of 2011, it has felt like I'm slipping, hanging on by my fingertips sometimes and not quite able to catch my balance. 2 weeks ago I completely careened off track.
It doesn't feel like it's always been this way. When I was a single, working mom, I could do it all. I was able to keep a (relatively) cleanish house, the laundry caught up, dinners on the table (so what if Shorty and I ate out so often that when we did eat at home she was looking for the waitress), and my work/life obligations handled with aplomb.
Then Shorty and I moved to Thailand and it became pretty darn easy to be a single working mom. In fact, I can't honestly say that I was a single mom there. After all, get the violins and hankies ready, we had a maid, nanny and driver (K. Pim, Kwang, and K. Tanin) who were with us all the time and in fact made up a family of sorts for us. When Shorty learned to ride a bike, it was Khun Tanin who ran up and down the street with her. And when I got home in the evening, Khun Pim had dinner made and the laundry done, and we could all sit down and eat dinner together. The time that I could spend with Shorty was the "quality kind" because Kwang made sure that she was bathed (along with any other children that were at our house! (But that's another story!)) and that homework was done. I knew that she was loved and cared for and played with and so while there was always the pang of guilt that comes motherhood, I didn't worry as much as I had before. We were spoiled and it was awesome.
Then we met and married Honey and it turns out that I didn't know what awesome really was! We moved back to the US and are a real family, he was the piece that was missing. But.....it seems that I lost that ability to multitask - to get the laundry done, the groceries stocked, the dinner on the table in a timely fashion, all while excelling at my job (I know, I know the violins are playing). And even though all time spent with Shorty is the "quality kind", I spend more of it fussing about homework, trying to remember when her last shower was, and getting after her to do her chores. Some days I'm sick of myself so I can only imagine how she feels! And so things slide through the cracks.
Last week Shorty has a stomach ache and a fever. After trying to let it fix itself for a day or so, Honey took her to the doctor where she was diagnosed with strep...and extreme constipation. The strep...ok, fine, it's been going around. But the doctor asked when the last time Shorty had pooped was and when neither of them knew, proceeded to give him the full lecture that really should have been given to me. Turns out she's been so constipated that her colon is stretched out and she's full of poo, she doesn't get enough fiber or water and I'm a terrible mother. OK, she didn't say that last part but it was implied. How did I miss this? Since I don't have to wipe her butt anymore, I have to say that my observations about her regularity (or irregularity as the case might be) are solely based on making sure that she has toilet paper in her bathroom. But shouldn't I have noticed or asked or...something? Is it because I've been so busy trying to get it all together and working and exercising and being all things to all people? Am I bad mother?
Right on the heels of that Honey and I got the flu. Bad. He's been completely knocked out of commission this week, suddenly the partner that I rely on to help me juggle was out of the game. So I dropped all pretense of trying to do it all and concentrated on the basics - Shorty, food, school. Screw work (which I realize it a luxury most don't have) and exercise. Surely I could handle those few things, even with the flu myself - I once worked/parented for 3 weeks with dengue fever for God's sake!! But all I can say is thank God for friends because they pitched in and helped to take care of Shorty so that we could mend. I guess that I can't do it all any more and that's hard for me to admit.
But as I sit here typing this post, I see pretty clearly that I don't have to do it all by myself anymore. I have a wonderful husband (who usually doesn't have the flu) and fantastic friends and an amazing daughter. I'm disappointed in myself for dropping so many balls, but I have the support structure to be able to pick them up again. And I guess that's the important thing for any mom who's going back to work - find those supporters, be they husband, family, or friends and let them help!
So this post started as one thing and during the very long, drawn out way has become something else. Find your support, allow yourself to appreciate it, and utilize it. And talk to your kids about their poop every day.
It doesn't feel like it's always been this way. When I was a single, working mom, I could do it all. I was able to keep a (relatively) cleanish house, the laundry caught up, dinners on the table (so what if Shorty and I ate out so often that when we did eat at home she was looking for the waitress), and my work/life obligations handled with aplomb.
Then Shorty and I moved to Thailand and it became pretty darn easy to be a single working mom. In fact, I can't honestly say that I was a single mom there. After all, get the violins and hankies ready, we had a maid, nanny and driver (K. Pim, Kwang, and K. Tanin) who were with us all the time and in fact made up a family of sorts for us. When Shorty learned to ride a bike, it was Khun Tanin who ran up and down the street with her. And when I got home in the evening, Khun Pim had dinner made and the laundry done, and we could all sit down and eat dinner together. The time that I could spend with Shorty was the "quality kind" because Kwang made sure that she was bathed (along with any other children that were at our house! (But that's another story!)) and that homework was done. I knew that she was loved and cared for and played with and so while there was always the pang of guilt that comes motherhood, I didn't worry as much as I had before. We were spoiled and it was awesome.
Then we met and married Honey and it turns out that I didn't know what awesome really was! We moved back to the US and are a real family, he was the piece that was missing. But.....it seems that I lost that ability to multitask - to get the laundry done, the groceries stocked, the dinner on the table in a timely fashion, all while excelling at my job (I know, I know the violins are playing). And even though all time spent with Shorty is the "quality kind", I spend more of it fussing about homework, trying to remember when her last shower was, and getting after her to do her chores. Some days I'm sick of myself so I can only imagine how she feels! And so things slide through the cracks.
Last week Shorty has a stomach ache and a fever. After trying to let it fix itself for a day or so, Honey took her to the doctor where she was diagnosed with strep...and extreme constipation. The strep...ok, fine, it's been going around. But the doctor asked when the last time Shorty had pooped was and when neither of them knew, proceeded to give him the full lecture that really should have been given to me. Turns out she's been so constipated that her colon is stretched out and she's full of poo, she doesn't get enough fiber or water and I'm a terrible mother. OK, she didn't say that last part but it was implied. How did I miss this? Since I don't have to wipe her butt anymore, I have to say that my observations about her regularity (or irregularity as the case might be) are solely based on making sure that she has toilet paper in her bathroom. But shouldn't I have noticed or asked or...something? Is it because I've been so busy trying to get it all together and working and exercising and being all things to all people? Am I bad mother?
Right on the heels of that Honey and I got the flu. Bad. He's been completely knocked out of commission this week, suddenly the partner that I rely on to help me juggle was out of the game. So I dropped all pretense of trying to do it all and concentrated on the basics - Shorty, food, school. Screw work (which I realize it a luxury most don't have) and exercise. Surely I could handle those few things, even with the flu myself - I once worked/parented for 3 weeks with dengue fever for God's sake!! But all I can say is thank God for friends because they pitched in and helped to take care of Shorty so that we could mend. I guess that I can't do it all any more and that's hard for me to admit.
But as I sit here typing this post, I see pretty clearly that I don't have to do it all by myself anymore. I have a wonderful husband (who usually doesn't have the flu) and fantastic friends and an amazing daughter. I'm disappointed in myself for dropping so many balls, but I have the support structure to be able to pick them up again. And I guess that's the important thing for any mom who's going back to work - find those supporters, be they husband, family, or friends and let them help!
So this post started as one thing and during the very long, drawn out way has become something else. Find your support, allow yourself to appreciate it, and utilize it. And talk to your kids about their poop every day.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Achieving the Work-Life Balance... how will your life look when you go back to work?
I was recently in a meeting with the Wellness Council for our school. This is a group of volunteers that don't run in my social circle, but with whom I enjoy chatting and they offer me a different perspective on many topics of discussion. All of the members of this committee are working mothers (and grandmothers), who have numerous commitments, but who feel passionately about the health and wellbeing of children. Wellbeing - such a robust word.
As we were finishing up the meeting, one of the members mentioned that her new boss at work, during an annual review and goal setting meeting, asked her what her priorities for the upcoming year would be. She responded with a few goals for her areas of responsibility, but her boss told her that no, her responsibility for the year would be to achieve a work-life balance. My friend explained to us that she had always had managers who didn't care how much you had to work, or what was going on at home, but they were results driven individuals. Her new manager gave her a list that went something like this:
1. Learn to say No
2. Attend ALL of the school functions
A little while later, my friend's manager brought her aside and told her that she had heard she was doing a great job saying no at work. And it was a compliment! What a great mentor to have!
Sometimes, we get so focused on achieving results that we forget to look at the big picture, and to make life-work balance a priority. Take a moment to picture how you want your life to look when you go back to work. Do you want full-time, part-time, flexibility to work from home, a family oriented company, something close to your neighborhood? When you go out on your job search, keep this in the forefront of your mind, so that you will only look at positions in which you can achieve the balance and find your wellbeing.
As we were finishing up the meeting, one of the members mentioned that her new boss at work, during an annual review and goal setting meeting, asked her what her priorities for the upcoming year would be. She responded with a few goals for her areas of responsibility, but her boss told her that no, her responsibility for the year would be to achieve a work-life balance. My friend explained to us that she had always had managers who didn't care how much you had to work, or what was going on at home, but they were results driven individuals. Her new manager gave her a list that went something like this:
1. Learn to say No
2. Attend ALL of the school functions
A little while later, my friend's manager brought her aside and told her that she had heard she was doing a great job saying no at work. And it was a compliment! What a great mentor to have!
Sometimes, we get so focused on achieving results that we forget to look at the big picture, and to make life-work balance a priority. Take a moment to picture how you want your life to look when you go back to work. Do you want full-time, part-time, flexibility to work from home, a family oriented company, something close to your neighborhood? When you go out on your job search, keep this in the forefront of your mind, so that you will only look at positions in which you can achieve the balance and find your wellbeing.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Managing HOME when you go back to work, or, what we can learn from Kramer v. Kramer
The other evening I had the rare privilege of sitting and watching an entire movie on TV without falling asleep half-way through. The movie was Kramer v. Kramer which, everyone should know, stars a young Dustin Hoffman and absolutely beautiful Merryl Streep. In a nutshell, it's about a couple with a young child going through a divorce in 70's. I was blown away at not only the performances by the actors, but by how this movie reflects what any family goes through when there is a major change in the home.
The story goes something like this: A self-absorbed "bring home the bacon" man comes home from the office to find that his stay-at-home wife is leaving him and their child. She is unfulfilled by being a stay-at-home mom, and needs to be more than a wife and a mother. Fortunately, we don't have to divorce our husbands and leave our children in order to have a job and feel complete.
For most of the remainder of the movie, we see the father bumble through all of the childcare, household chores, and responsibilities that, until then, had been handled by the mother. Many of us would probably like to see how our wonderful husbands would manage being the sole care-giver. I have an enormous amount of respect for single moms and dads. Here are some other revelations that I had:
We ALL expect our kids to be resilient to change, when in fact, they shouldn't be expected to just "buck up". Deal with the attitudes and the temper tantrums with a little bit of patience, understanding, and love. Everyone needs a little time to adjust to a major change, like mommy going back to work.
Dads, expect your children to test you! This is part of the process of change that the kids will have to go through. Even if they should know better, that was in the "old" world, and with a major change, you are now entering the "new" world. Don't get mad, just stand your ground.
They even had those dreaded goody bags after birthday parties in the 70s!
Can you believe they bought milk in quarts back then?! Today we buy everything in gallons or in bulk. A quart wouldn't last a day in my house and I'd have to add another item on my TO DO list. No thanks! But, this is interesting on many levels... I will spare you the soapbox (today).
Poor dad had to go to a PTA meeting at the school at 4:00 (taking time from work) because it was his responsibility! I know that this is one of the first things to be crossed off of the list when both parents work, but, (and here I will get on my soapbox) make sure that, when you go back to work, that one or both parents are still actively engaged in your child's school and education. This should be as much of a priority as homework, or feeding your family nutritious meals. I'm not saying to go out and overcommit and volunteer for everything. Know your limits, of course. But, studies show that parents who are involved in the education of their children (beyond homework) have children who take their education seriously. Pass it on!
The story goes something like this: A self-absorbed "bring home the bacon" man comes home from the office to find that his stay-at-home wife is leaving him and their child. She is unfulfilled by being a stay-at-home mom, and needs to be more than a wife and a mother. Fortunately, we don't have to divorce our husbands and leave our children in order to have a job and feel complete.
For most of the remainder of the movie, we see the father bumble through all of the childcare, household chores, and responsibilities that, until then, had been handled by the mother. Many of us would probably like to see how our wonderful husbands would manage being the sole care-giver. I have an enormous amount of respect for single moms and dads. Here are some other revelations that I had:
We ALL expect our kids to be resilient to change, when in fact, they shouldn't be expected to just "buck up". Deal with the attitudes and the temper tantrums with a little bit of patience, understanding, and love. Everyone needs a little time to adjust to a major change, like mommy going back to work.
Dads, expect your children to test you! This is part of the process of change that the kids will have to go through. Even if they should know better, that was in the "old" world, and with a major change, you are now entering the "new" world. Don't get mad, just stand your ground.
They even had those dreaded goody bags after birthday parties in the 70s!
Can you believe they bought milk in quarts back then?! Today we buy everything in gallons or in bulk. A quart wouldn't last a day in my house and I'd have to add another item on my TO DO list. No thanks! But, this is interesting on many levels... I will spare you the soapbox (today).
Poor dad had to go to a PTA meeting at the school at 4:00 (taking time from work) because it was his responsibility! I know that this is one of the first things to be crossed off of the list when both parents work, but, (and here I will get on my soapbox) make sure that, when you go back to work, that one or both parents are still actively engaged in your child's school and education. This should be as much of a priority as homework, or feeding your family nutritious meals. I'm not saying to go out and overcommit and volunteer for everything. Know your limits, of course. But, studies show that parents who are involved in the education of their children (beyond homework) have children who take their education seriously. Pass it on!
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