Don't Blink by Kim

Here we are 3 weeks after my last post and I'm not entirely sure what's happened. Di's been absolutely swamped with the projects that she's been working on. Her previous post vividly describes the challenges that she's been facing, as well as the validation that comes from being someone outside of wife/mom. And me? Well, I've been co-chairing the Spring Book Fair: "Carnival - Your ticket to read!" dontcha know. Book Fair essentially sends me down the rabbit hole for a solid 2 weeks and makes me long for the days where it was socially acceptable to start drinking at lunch (breakfast) and continue through the dinner hour. But we managed to get together for lunch last Friday and it was a rapid fire exchange as we crammed 3 weeks of news, laughter and commiseration into an hour and a half - it was AWESOME!

In my last post, I was weighing a couple possible job/career possibilities and needing to pick a direction. After several conversations with Honey, we decided to add an Operations Program Manager (that's me!) to The Sublime Group. Basically, we're going to tag team at companies that are looking to streamline, troubleshoot, and improve the relationship between Procurement and Operations. On paper it will allow us to:

1. Provide a client with a more fully integrated solution to Production issues since both are crucial to process improvement and overall success. (Look at me using the "Business speak" already...it's like I never left)

2. Provide me with the opportunity to put on my Career Hat (thus ending the existential / identity crisis that I've been having since quitting work).

3. Provide a way to manage at home so that Shorty's life isn't greatly affected by the change (thus alleviating some of the guilt I feel about getting back to work. Some.).

As I sit here, gloriously optimistic, I see a way to have my cake and eat it too. Time will tell, but irregardless, it's a step closer towards the balance of life that I've been looking for.

Tips for Leaving the Nest

Congratulations Kim!!  I too have been out of the blogging loop for awhile, so much so as I forgot my login and password!  As you mentioned, because I took a temporary contract position.  I have learned so much from my experience to share with everyone thinking of going back to work, after being a stay-at-home mom for so long.  Here's my story:

A few months ago, I was sitting with a group of girlfriends talking about work.  I mentioned that I was looking toward going back to work, being in the land of people who talk about more than just their children, their children's school, the state of education, etc.  I have a fabulous friend who pretty much runs her company, while being mom to two terrific kids, and one ornery husband.  She said, "if you are serious about this, come and work for me for a little while to get your resume current and brush up on some skills".

TIP #1:  Most of you already know this, but it's not what you know, but who you know.  Reach out to those former employers, employees, friends and acquaintances!

So, I took fabulous friend up on the offer.  Part-time, while children were in school and still allowing for the workout in the morning.  Perfect!  I was sitting in on meetings, mostly feeling lost, and was going to be substitute for a project manager who was going to get married and be on her honeymoon at the end of a project.  It was a win-win for both the boss and me - he gets cheap, really skilled labor (though a bit rusty) and I get out of the house, into the land of the working, and some current experience on my resume!

TIP #2:  Going back into the workforce may result in a temporary cut in pay.  If you can, be sure you are really going to love the job you'll be doing and that it will support your priorities (which are usually more important than the money!)

After a couple of weeks, fabulous friend came to me and asked me if I could work on another project, with a tight deadline of 5 weeks for a client.  I was offered an increase in pay for the added headache and increased responsibility.  Sure, for a few weeks, that's okay - an occasional late evening here and there, working from home.  No problem.

TIP #3: As soon as they see how truly awesome you are, they'll be pleased with their decision and start giving you more responsibility and respect!

I set the expectation with wonderful hubby and kids.  Wonderful hubby agrees to step things up a notch on the household responsibilities and starts grocery shopping, doing laundry, picking up the kids and taking care of them when he's home.  I start having to ask my friends to take my kids on evenings when he's not home, and realize that I am racking up the "IOU"s.  A little guilt settles in, and I start taking on a few playdates of my own to repay the IOUs.  Now, I am swamped.  Responsibilities at work are increasing, I feel guilty about the time I miss from work, and the begging for people to take care of my kids when hubby's traveling.

TIP #4:  Set your limits, but know they are always going to ask for more

The next week, they have increased my rate and asked me to work full time until the completion of the project, which is a very important project and potential for a whole bunch more projects in the future.  How can I refuse?!  I discuss the matter with wonderful hubby.  Not sure if we still both see eye to eye on this, but it's only temporary.  I enroll the kids in after school care, reminding myself that it is only temporary.  Now the guilt really sets in... I get up, get kids ready, get myself ready, drop them at school, head to work... check in to see what I missed from the day before, work all day until dinner time, still leave before anyone else, sit in traffic until I can pick my kids (starving and tired) up from after school care.  Fix them ridiculously unhealthy meal, check their homework, put them to bed and drop myself in bed and fall immediately to sleep.  I have had no workout, no me time, I haven't called my best friend (who had a baby a week ago) to chat, haven't had couple time, and haven't even spoken at my kids except to bark at them to do their next chore or to stop whining.  Feel guilty all around... just to start it up all over again.

TIP #5:  There's no avoiding the guilt, just embrace it.

So, what have I learned through this "project"?  I have learned a bunch!  I have learned that I don't want to be the big career woman that I was before kids.  The one who could work until 8 pm and not feel guilty (or tired).  I want a career that is manageable alongside my family life.  Honestly, I think that a lot of companies say that they are considerate of families, or that families matter to them, but when it comes down to it, there are very few who practice what they preach.  (I do happen to think that my current employer is this sort of company, but they have just had a temporary influx of work - pretty good in this economy)  There are also positions in which it is going to be required that you are in an office.  These tend to be less flexible than those which do not require you to be in the office.

So, if you know of any part-time, flexible positions out there, please share with the rest of us!  It'd help to narrow down the focus of our job search!
TIP #6:

It's time to leave the nest (again) by Kim

Recently I was approached by a colleague whom I worked with in my prior life. He's tired of working for the man and has a great idea for starting up a new company - he just needs someone to market it (that would be me) and help provide a non-engineering view of how to structure and package it (also me). We met last weekend and I'm not going to lie - I'm pretty excited about the potential. I'm also surprisingly giddy at the prospect of getting in front of customers and doing what I'm pretty damn good at. Not to mention it would feel pretty stinking good to truly contribute financially to our household.

Then, while discussing this with Honey, he got a somewhat hurt expression and says "well if you're going to go out and market in the industry, I'd rather you sell for me" - (amazing what a little competition will do). Of course this leads to the question of whether we could work effectively together....but that's another blog post.

And so I've been obsessively contemplating what it is that I want to do now. Di's had a great opportunity to get back into the work place over the past months - and while there have definitely been challenges- it appears that she's thoroughly enjoying reestablishing that part of herself that isn't wife or mom and I'll admit it, I'm envious of that. Don't get me wrong, I've got a great life and I love the flexibility that I now have to try things out but at a certain point I'm just spinning my wheels - it's time for me to put on my big girl pants and fully commit to a course of action! So I'll be making lists, looking at the family logistics and weighing various possibilities over the weekend but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be opting for the opportunities that get me out of the home office and back in front of clients...stay tuned.